No Second Date Yet ???

[xjadedx]

I've already tried to cut him loose, but when he's calling and texting and seemingly getting upset because I am not answering, I end up feeling guilty, think maybe, just maybe he is being genuine and maybe I'm being unfair in not giving him a little more time, so I will end up picking up and talking to him again. He is the one to always initiate calls and texts...I never do. So it's him doing most, if not all of the pursuing.

It's just no show, yet for some reason he's keeping me around....and I'm not understanding why he wants to keep me around, if he doesn't want to see me anymore ?? People don't usually pursue, someone for whom there is no interest.

[Lipp]

Money should not be an issue if it's $20 for a visit, at least not an excuse that you can put up with if you haven't visited in two months, mainly that would be a problem if he'd try to visit you several times a week.

An apartment not being ready is firstly also not something that I'd say is an issue that remains for two months (and if it is, a session of unpacking together could be just as fun, or at least not stay at the apartment, go out).

So yeah, it certainly seems fishy. And the easiest way to get the bottom of it is to give the ultimatum - show up or get lost. You sound more like either a woman-on-the-side being considered before approval or someone for him to talk to on the phone when he's bored, and nothing else.

[xjadedx]

Money should not be an issue if it's $20 for a visit, at least not an excuse that you can put up with if you haven't visited in two months, mainly that would be a problem if he'd try to visit you several times a week.

An apartment not being ready is firstly also not something that I'd say is an issue that remains for two months (and if it is, a session of unpacking together could be just as fun, or at least not stay at the apartment, go out).

So yeah, it certainly seems fishy. And the easiest way to get the bottom of it is to give the ultimatum - show up or get lost. You sound more like either a woman-on-the-side being considered before approval or someone for him to talk to on the phone when he's bored, and nothing else.

Firstly, he has nothing to unpack. He lives with his parents and is starting out from scratch in this appartment....he has nothing at all, no furniture, no nothing and no money to buy anything with at the moment. He has been married before, but swears he is now divorced. His wife was left with the home they shared and because they have a child.

When you say 'you sound like the woman on the side being considered for approval'....I'm unsure what you mean? Waiting for what kind of approval?

To be honest, I am starting to wonder if there is more one woman in his life....that woman may not necessarily be a wife. It could be another woman who he has his eye on and he's waiting to see how things pan out with her. Meanwhile he keeps me on the 'back burner', for if it doesn't work out with her....

I also know that he still frequents the dating site I met him on. Because we have had only had one date, I havn't made a big issue of this...but when I did bring it up in casual conversation some weeks back, he said he was just bored, was on there chatting to friends and that is all. He also has 'just here to chat to friends' in his profile, but he didn't say whether that was for my benefit or not....it's just something I'd noticed he had on there and when I logged in one day. It's rare I frequent this site however and he knows I don't frequent it that often.

[Pink68]

Sounds to me as if he is keeping you in a holding pattern as someting on the side..if a man were truly interested he would go out of his way to be with you. You should expect nothing less than that.. DUMP HIM... change your number if needed..