LADIES! Should I pursue it or not?

[c_anthony]

Okay, so there is this girl at work that I am interested at work. We talk, flirt, all the good stuff. Anyways, I thought I was "in" with this girl, Cathy, because even during all the flirting I'm having her best friend asking me if I like her and if I did "I would suggest you go for it." Great right? I'm flirting with this girl, we constantly text each other every day (sometimes for hours), and her best friend is suggesting I ask her out. Last Friday after work she is like what are you doing and mentioned about this party that we both heard about. So she goes with two of her girlfriends and I meet up with her with one of my buddies. The party wasn't a confidence booster, Cathy who is super flirt girl at work, was super shy. But that wasn't a big deal, there are alot of people around, it's not a real personal environment, and it might be weird doing what we do in front of our friends.

But before the party we had plans to go to this girl's b-day dinner, Saturday, the night after. She was going to pick me up, the birthday girl was going to have a party after dinner, it was going to be all good........ yeah right. She picks me up and on the drive to dinner she says that "I don't know if I want to go to the party after, so I can take you there or drop you off after dinner." I'm like okay..... that's kind of a buzzkill. The worst thing was before we went in the restaurant I got a call from my buddy so I said I'll meet you inside. Once I get inside, one of Cathy's co-worker friends ask her to sit next to her, but the problem was that it was on one side of the table with no room for me, that was THE buzzkill for me. So whatever I sit next to my other co-worker friends on the complete opposite side (the table sat 16 people so I was far). I text my buddy to come down and get me out of there, because he was going out to the New York bars and I would rather do that then waste my time for a lost cause. So we bounce during dinner, and I didn't even see Cathy (I found out she was in the bathroom) so I didn't say bye to her. It was a totally coincidence that she wasn't there when we left, I would of said bye to her I swear! So whatever I jumped ship I thought, but shortly after Cathy texts me "what the ****, did you leave?" This girl sweet, trust me, never dropped te f-bomb before. I decide not to text her back because on one side I'm like I've tried to make it work but I'm getting these signs that this a lost cause. On the other side I'm like maybe she's shy and I should actually ask her on an actual date. Yeah I was a dick to leave, but I don't even know what went wrong until the end when I sort decided to cut it loose. Should I make try to patch thing up when I see her at work? Or should I just drop it because there is no point swimming upstream the whole time? I should apologize for leaving right? God, I don't understand women! lol

[Cbrider]

I wouldn't even bother, co-workers are bad news.

[carl1222]

Not a lady, but I do have one question ... did SHE have anything to do with where you ended up sitting in relation to her? If not, you are blaming her for circumstances beyond her control.

Carl.

EDIT: I re-read your post. Was it clearly understood that you were going to this dinner together as a date? If so, then she was wrong for sitting with her friend to your exclusion. But if it was simply that you were both going to the same dinner not as a date, you overreacted, dude.

Carl.

[c_anthony]

I guess your right, it wasn't a date. I need to just ask her out. It's not to my advantage hanging out with her with all the co-workers and friends around. Her friend just called me and told me that the girl I do like is into me and doesn't know how to approach me. The bad part is that I'm not that good into being assertive. I need to just buck up.

[QuiteCurious]

Sounds to me like she wants your attention but is pretending not to want it. She may also have reservations about getting involved with a co-worker so perhaps is playing it cool, but not so much that she drives you away (which is why she contacted you when she saw you had left).

If you want this girl, be direct and ask her out. The games will just lead to too much confusion and trying to second guess someone can result in false conclusions.

Good luck!