The Ex is Back!

[NicoleKristin]

My bf and I live together for 2 years now is hard to understand. He always hesitates to introduce me to his lady friends but he is very quick to introduce me to his male friends. And if he does, he tells them (ladies) that am his roommate------not girlfriend. Anyway, yesterday, I was not snooping at all, he just didn’t log out of his mail and there were three e-mails from his ex(they broke up 3 years ago), he talks a lot about her by the way. She wrote that she misses him and she is still in love with him and he wrote back and said that he still loves her too, he also said that in fact he still keeps her photos and has been searching her everywhere, on Facebook, even called her grandma twice to ask where she was.

Now, the girl wrote back two e-mails, in the first one, she wants to come and spend a week with him, he did not reply. She wrote one more and said that she really wants to fly in on Thursday and spend the Valentine’s weekend with him, he has not replied yet. He mentioned NOTHING about me to her. She is assuming he is single…..I don’t blame her cuz my boyfriend wont introduce me to her! I feel so sad, and unloved!

This has unfortunately reduced my trust to him and after logging out of his e-mail, I guessed a few passwords and bingo, I now know his password (it is my name and his combined…lol) and I want to see what he replies to her. I keep checking his e-mail now……and I know that it is wrong but I want to know what’s happening!

What should I do?

[Miss Chievious]

I'm sorry..he sounds fishy to me.

I don't encourage you to look at his emails. However, because you are left out in the dark, and must know what is going on...

I think you should approach him ONLY if you find out that they will actually meet up.

You can say you accidentally saw the email exchanges when you were trying to find a picture of you two that you were going to print out and give him for valentine's day. He was still logged in to his email, and blah blah. You found out.

Then proceed to dump his ass.

[Only-virgins]

I know a Nicole and a Kristin and they both are sluts on a astronomical level.

[NicoleKristin]

Miss Chievious, thanks, I just don’t believe him now because when we just met almost 2 years ago, he mentioned this lady as her ex and he assured me that he is completely over her and ready for our relationship but apparently it is not true! I would love to know if the plan proceeds, the only problem is that he cannot bring her to our house when am there, he cant throw me out without explanation either. Maybe pay for her hotel accommodation……he is not a big spender and we have a shared account, I would find out……….he must be thinking really hard about what he can do! The girl is running outta patience!

Only Virgins…you are funny but I can assure you that am no slut…those aren’t my real names even.

[Gigabitch]

You should start packing your shit. or his, depending who has the lease.

I'm not kidding. Break up with this guy.

[carl1222]

My bf and I live together for 2 years now is hard to understand. He always hesitates to introduce me to his lady friends but he is very quick to introduce me to his male friends. And if he does, he tells them (ladies) that am his roommate------not girlfriend. Anyway, yesterday, I was not snooping at all, he just didn’t log out of his mail and there were three e-mails from his ex(they broke up 3 years ago), he talks a lot about her by the way. She wrote that she misses him and she is still in love with him and he wrote back and said that he still loves her too, he also said that in fact he still keeps her photos and has been searching her everywhere, on Facebook, even called her grandma twice to ask where she was.

Now, the girl wrote back two e-mails, in the first one, she wants to come and spend a week with him, he did not reply. She wrote one more and said that she really wants to fly in on Thursday and spend the Valentine’s weekend with him, he has not replied yet. He mentioned NOTHING about me to her. She is assuming he is single…..I don’t blame her cuz my boyfriend wont introduce me to her! I feel so sad, and unloved!

This has unfortunately reduced my trust to him and after logging out of his e-mail, I guessed a few passwords and bingo, I now know his password (it is my name and his combined…lol) and I want to see what he replies to her. I keep checking his e-mail now……and I know that it is wrong but I want to know what’s happening!

What should I do?

Leave him for all the reasons in bold above.

He's a cheater, plain and simple. As long as you've already hacked his mail, have you gone through it to see what kind of things he's saying to women other than his ex?

I'm against snooping without suspicion, but I think you were already suspicious of his actions before you looked at the emails between him and his ex. At this point, you have good cause to believe that he probably cheats on you, so you are not a psycho jealous gf. The gloves should come off ... he's already breached your trust so feel free to look at all of his emails, cell phone calls, text messages, etc. Now is not the time to worry about invading his privacy, it's time to find out what you need to know ... what he's been up to behind your back, and not just with his ex.

Just a question though, when he introduces you to girls as his "roommate," Why don't you say "Roommate??? we've been in a romantic relationship for 2 years. I'm his girlfriend!!!" What the heck are you thinking?

Carl.

[NicoleKristin]

Thanks Carl. Good question, I usually just shut up when he calls me roommate, I neither agree nor disagree. I guess am to blame too.

[Mish]

I would love to know if the plan proceeds, the only problem is that he cannot bring her to our house when am there, he cant throw me out without explanation either. Maybe pay for her hotel accommodation……he is not a big spender and we have a shared account, I would find out……….he must be thinking really hard about what he can do! The girl is running outta patience!

Now I'm curious about what he will do as well. Don't leave him until you find out what his plan is, it has too much (potential) entertainment value.

[NicoleKristin]

Ok, progress is that for the first time, he told her that he has a girlfriend….he did not mention if we are living together though but at least am pleased with him. He also wrote that she should communicate to him with respect (dunno what he meant) and he also asked about her boyfriend “John” ………..she wrote back and said that she broke up with “John” and wants him (my boyfriend) back. She also asked him to tell me that she and he intend to get back together and that I should move on (she sounds controlling) …..he has not yet replied to her, and he has not told me to “move on” either.

[Gigabitch]

Oh, but you're waiting to get fired instead of quitting your job?

[NicoleKristin]

Lol….Gigabitch, in the last 2 years we have been together, we have been through a lot with love and patience and quitting before getting fired is definitely the best option, however, I just want to see if he can ignore everything we have had together and tell me in my face that it is over because the ex…..who ran off with another guy is back! So, I want to wait to be fired, if at all it is gonna happen.

[Gigabitch]

Actually, that's what I would do in your situation, but that's because I'm rotten to the core and self-destructive as well.

You must be just about ready to effing murder this guy.

[carl1222]

Lol….Gigabitch, in the last 2 years we have been together, we have been through a lot with love and patience and quitting before getting fired is definitely the best option, however, I just want to see if he can ignore everything we have had together and tell me in my face that it is over because the ex…..who ran off with another guy is back! So, I want to wait to be fired, if at all it is gonna happen.

LOL, I was gonna say that but it seemed insensitive. Sort of like leaving a good mystery movie 10 minutes before the ending!

Right now, he is wracking his brain trying to figure out how to pull this one off. It's tough! Since she has to fly to see him (how far away IS she??) he can't ask her to meet him at a hotel. Since you live together, he can't just have her come over or disappear for a few days on short notice.

My guess is that he will try to put her off for a few weeks, and fabricate someplace he has to go for a few days alone, i.e. visiting friends, family, etc.

By the way, him telling her he has a girlfriend was not as noble as you think ... it just bought him a little extra time ... "We'll have to be discreet until I can find a gentle way to let her down."

Carl.

[Gigabitch]

By the way, him telling her he has a girlfriend was not as noble as you think ... it just bought him a little extra time ... "We'll have to be discreet until I can find a gentle way to let her down."

Carl.

That's a good point. Basically, he just told her, "Don't call me at home."

[NicoleKristin]

He is usually very slow in making decisions but he ends up making best ones, I just wanna see what kind of decision he is going to make in situation. However, am ready to pack and leave if I have to, just not yet, I wanna see the end of the movie, happy or sad ending, am ready. Strange enough, he has been so absent minded and super nice to me in the last few days. He works days, I work nights and he’s been so sweet, calling me all the time, staring at me for long periods and when I catch him, he just smiles at me, preparing dinner and waking me up when it is ready (we used to do it together). This could be good or bad, he might be creating a good environment to tell me it is over, his ex is back or maybe he is feeling closer to me…..I dunno! I will find out soon. What do you guys think?