devastated after meeting with ex

[moonriverlove]

I met with ex today. Not intentionally. I thought I was over but it turned out not. He is very distant. I am devastated. So sad.Life is harsh. If not mean to be together, why people meet and fall in love. I regret I fell for him. I miss what we have. I miss him. I want to kill myself.

[JMR]

Breathe.. its not easy for both of us, but you've helped me. If by distant you meant cold, then perhaps he's not over it either... and you may not be the only one that feels overwhelmed. You need to distract yourself quickly.. go see a movie, or meet some friends. I've been reading immensely lately since that is an easy distraction and usually very rewarding (reading philosophy). I'm so sorry about your run-in today.. but we have to keep on.. for ourselves, for those who love us, and for whomever we will end up with. Pull from your inner strength.. I know you have it. I know how impossible it is.. I've been there and still am there.. but it is possible, and you can get through this.

[carl1222]

If you thought you were over him, that means you have made enormous progress lately. Today's experience is a set back, but it doesn't mean that you are back to square one. Keep on as you have. Just as your feelings for him have faded when you are apart, they will fade as well when you are accidentally together. He did you a favor by being distant ... it puts another nail in the coffin of your fantasy that things could be back the way you wanted them to be.

As for your other question, Mother Nature is a cold raging bitch! She doesn't give a rat's behind about relationships, happiness or compatibility ... she makes us fall in love to want to make babies ... nothing more.

Forget about killing yourself ... that would deprive you of the joy of finding someone in the future who you love who truly loves you back.

Carl.

[The Immortal]

Old flames die slowly...

PS I feel like that every bloody day when I wake up, theres so many nails in my coffin it turned into an iron maiden.

[swargolet]

It really does suck doesnt it. After a break-up we will all have our good days and bad days, I'm sorry to head that you had a bad day.
Just keep your head high and keep moving along. Look at all the good things in life, keep a positive attitude, that is what keeps me going most of the time. Many of my days are still bad days yet I just try to look ahead and I tell myself that I KNOW I will find someone else and probably someone better. Life goes on it just takes time.

[Mish]

Exs usually are distant. It's hard to get back into that mode once the connection is lost.

Look on the bright side moonriverlove, it could have been worse. He could've been not over you and stalking you

[moonriverlove]

Ok. I HAVE TO SAY i SLEPT WITH HIM FINALLY. I KNOW THIS IS WRONG. But, I miss him so much yesterday that I asked to meet. He picked me up to his place and we had wine. We catch up with our life, hold hands, hug, tender kiss and then sex. It was the first time we met since we broke up 5 months ago. Both of us look better than before. He admitted he miss me too.

I cant believe this. 5 months.. I still love this guy so much. The feeling is back so soon. I was really really happy when being with him, so happy that I can put the sadness aside, and just want that moment to stop there. I know he cant give me what I want but I feel safe when he hug me. How weird.

Honestly, meeting with ex is addictive and emotionally expensive.

[swargolet]

AHH!!! That one incident probably set you back 3 months! You probably felt amazing with him while it was all happening and probably still do but I bet that tomorrow or the next time it finally hits you that it is over you will feel worse than you did 1 week ago.
I'm sorry but I think that was a horrible decision on your part, but I do know how hard it is to resist it. I just hope you can pick yourself up from it.

[moonriverlove]

I know I made a bad decision. I know.

[carl1222]

Exs usually are distant. It's hard to get back into that mode once the connection is lost.

Look on the bright side moonriverlove, it could have been worse. He could've been not over you and stalking you

Moon, you have put yourself in an even worse situation than Mishanya imagined. Considering how you feel and all the pain it's causing you to no longer be in a romantic relationship with him, the LAST thing you needed was to embark on a "freinds with benefits" relationship with him, yet that's exactly what you've done.

Ask yourself this: Do you really want to be just his friend? Do you really want to be just his f**k buddy?

I agree with swargolet that you've prolonged your pain by at least 3 months ... perhaps longer, but if you continue meeting him this way, you could prolong your pain indefinitely ... I'm talking years!!!

Why did the two of you split up in the first place?

Carl.

[moonriverlove]

He cant see me in marriage. He likes me but not strongly loves me that can lead to serious relationship and marriage. After dating for about 5 months, he said he still didnt feel he can marry me in the future and he couldnt continue this anymore.

I was for quite a time angry with him after the broke up.

A. He broke up with me on phone after he left for another town for temp job.
B. When we were dating, it was about 6 months after he ended his last serious relationship with his EX, who he said he planned to marry, but it didnt work out because of sex. I didnt very much care this when I dated him. But after the breakup, I kind of feeling that he took advantage of me by dating me to help get over his EX. He was not completely over his EX when we were dating, for sure.
C.He didnt let me know where we stand in the relationship after dated for 3 months. He said he want to try again after we took a break. Now I was not sure whether he was honest with me from the beginning.

Still, I fell so much for him. I am simply stupid.