Am I being to jealous? gf still likes ex?? help!

[Benjwah]

Hi all,

So my gf and I have been dating for 3 months. Everything is great. But, she had a really bad breakup with her ex, he was an asshole and treated her like shit and then just threw her away and wouldnt talk to her....basically completely destroyed her.

We've been through a few things while dating dealing with him, including her being at a party w/o me and he was there with a date and she lost it and couldnt handle it. Now she claims to be completely over him. But, she has started talking to him online again.

He now works in nyc, where we live, vs in NJ where she used to go all the time to visit him while they dated. The dated for 5 months and he was the first guy to ever really break her heart. Basically he asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime and she told him sure, just hit me up whenever.

I just can't understand why she wants to talk to him. How can she still be at his beck and call after all hes done to her? She claims that she never planned on hanging out wiht him and just wanted to have the chance to deny him for once. But to me this just means shes still being effected by him and isnt really completely over him. And we cant work.

Any ideas or opinions on what this means? Or why shes still talking to him? Please let me know your thoughts.

Thanks.

[Gigabitch]

He trained her to be his bitch and it's a hard habit to break. He will always have some kind of hold on her. She's talking to him because she keeps trying to make him be the "good boyfriend' she hoped he would be, keeps trying to make him love her.

[amazonian]

It's really obvious that she is not quite over him yet. That doesn't mean she would take him back, but part of her probably still wants to be with him.

Are you able to help her through it and hang in there knowing she's not quite over it yet?

She may even go back to him even if he treated her badly. She may be looking for signs that he's changed or he misses her...

I know if a guy treated me badly and I didn't want him back, I wouldn't be in touch by email or catching up for coffee months down the track. Not healthy. I may want to deep down, but I wouldn't.

If you back off her a little (just be a little bit extra busy), but really reassure her emotionally that nothing has changed for you, she'll work out what she wants soon enough. Backing off will either drive her crazy for you or send her away - that's a pretty good indicator of her feelings for you.

[jadelil25]

Have you sat down and talked to her. Let her know how you feel and found out how she feels.

Communication is key in a relationship.

Backing off like amazonian said is also an idea. Give her some space and time to think. That way she will figure out her true feelings and will come to you if she wants you and likes you.

But also let her know that you are there for her, let her know how much you care and like her.

Im affraid that it is quite clear that she is not over him and if you love someone 3 months is very quick to get over someone.