What do you do when...

[diasflacleo]

Guys I am new to this forum....

I need help and advice... maybe many of you have been through this situation,,,

I am a 27 years old male, healthy, with too much energy...and I am married to a 22 years old woman for 4 years now...

Some years ago... i used to have sex with my wife at about 4 or 5 days a week... there were days that we did more than 1 time...
Those were golden times for me... I could feed my biological needs and... I could feel like a true man and also... I could feel that I was desired .. a special and strong bond with that woman I choose to live my wife with,,, however... from some months to now... she barely wants me...there are months we have sex just once ... I feel that our "special bond" is getting weak... I feel depressed sometimes and useless and unwanted...

My biological needs comes stronger and stronger and there are nights that I simply have difficults to sleep....I feel so full of energy .. it feels like I have drunk a bottle of coffee... and I don't feel asleep at all.....


My doubt is... What do you usually do to discharge this intense sexual energy of yours?

I thought that easiest and only way of discharging sexual energy is having having sex... maybe there are other ways,,, I don't know ... maybe you do guys...

[carl1222]

The easiest way to discharge sexual energy when sex is not available is masturbation.

A few quetions:

Did her interest in sex with you gradually fall off? or did it drop off suddenly?

Is she spending more time away from home? Do you ever have problems reaching her that you didn't have before?

Has her level of non-sexual attention (kissing, hugging, cuddling, words of endearment) changed along with her libido?

Did she begin any new medications coinciding with her lack of sexual interest?

Has her mood changed?

Carl.

[Aeradalia]

To add to Carl's list... did she recently change birth control medications?

Sometimes throughout use of one type of birth control hormone a woman's sex drive can peak then drop suddenly (or taper off)... other times, switching from one method to another can cause a sudden drop in sexual interest as well.

Hormones wreak havoc on a woman... at age 22, this would certainly be the more likely culprit.

[diasflacleo]

Thank you both for replying...
Well she mentioned that her lack of sex interest comes from her contraceptive pills....

She changed this pills at about 3 o 4 months ago... she said that the previous ones cut her libido 100%... the new contraceptive pills are a little bit different,,, she told me that with the new pills.... she says that her desire for sex has increased but not enough for her...

Answering your questions Carl:

1st- her interest in sex with me gradually fell off as she started taking contraceptive pills...

2nd- She has a part time job and studies evey other day on the week....No I don't have any new problems in reaching her....

3rd- hugging, cuddling, words of endearment are still the same... kissing however has decreased in numbers and they are not so intense as before.

4th - Yes she is taking another contraceptive pills to test if her libido increases.... she said that it changed in her ... but I saw no changing.

5th - Her mood for me is still a mistery.... always changing.

Now answering your question Aeradalia.
It must be again the contraceptive... she told me that she wants to swicth to IUD method (Intrauterine Device in english if I am not wrong) . She said that related to libido, IUD method has no side effects... I am not sure.. gotta search about it...

While my wife does not insert IUD I will have to wait...

[carl1222]

Your answers to my questions make me believe that her heart hasn't gone elsewhere, thank goodness.

Just be patient with her as she works her way through what is most likely a hormonal problem.

Carl.

[Ibenia]

It usually happens with people just be assured that she has lost her interest in sex nothing more. that happens and will be back in due course.

[paul_mot]

well, try waking her while sleeping, touch her while sleeping, wake her up softly, I see magic when i do this.

[Aeradalia]

The IUD would certainly help with libido... however it does have side effects and dangers as well... be sure you thoroughly research this before going through with it...

Similar thing happened to me when I was married... I was on birth control pills and later on the shots... both of which caused disruptions in not only sex drive but emotions and thoughts as well. I remember being excessively moody, uninterested in sex, and just not feeling like myself at all...

[carl1222]

I think your answer to my question #3 pretty much nails it as a hormonal problem with birth control:

"3rd- hugging, cuddling, words of endearment are still the same... kissing however has decreased in numbers and they are not so intense as before."

Hugging, cuddling and words of endearment are essentially emotional responses, kissing is a sexual response.

Carl.

[diasflacleo]

Thank you all for sharing your opinions about this... I really hope that things gets back to normal...Aeradalia... thank you for your opinion too... so you have been through the same problem as my wife... and you seem to have overcome perfectly...^_^

Will search carefully about IUD...

I might try that Paul... Thanks for the hint.