do yourself a favor

[ecojeanne]

Would you have children outside of marriage eco?

yes i would, tbh that sounds better to me than marriage, i don't like the idea of marriage

[bluesummer]

I'm going to get married just to spite the lot of you.

[Mish]

yes i would, tbh that sounds better to me than marriage, i don't like the idea of marriage

That makes you the first person out of hundreds of people I know.

I don't understand the reasons why you would think having kids outside of marriage is better than having kids inside of marriage though. What are your reasons?

[ecojeanne]

my reasons are probably selfish and are open to change tbh, but main reason is to not to have any kind of control over me, in a lot of ways i think marriage can be good financially and to tie the man down to his responsibilities but at the same time i'm torn due to the control that can be involved too. also i don't think any man is good enough for me to marry...yikes i do think i'm better...oops just revealed a card

[Only-virgins]

I don't get it... Why the hell do married couples always advise other couples not to get married? Why the heck did they get married!

That is how they know not to get married, they learned from their mistake of getting married. Not everyone can be as smart as me and detect a bad idea before they do it.

[Hollywood]

I'm going to marry my fiancee and I hope to have a marriage that lasts just like my mother and father. They are my role models!

[Mish]

but main reason is to not to have any kind of control over me

In that case you should not have children all together eco. Children WILL have control over you and you will have to give it up willingly for them. If you are not ready for that, you are not ready to be a parent.

[ecojeanne]

it's more to do with a man having any kind of control, i don't mind kids having influence and control over me, i adore kids, they can control me all they like

[Mish]

it's more to do with a man having any kind of control

That will come down to agreeing to a shared responsibility, You are not comfortable with that? Shared responsibility involves control in certain areas for both partners (meaning he will have certain control and you will have certain control) that's what being partners (equals) is all about. If you are not happy with sharing then it sounds like having kids for you would be a road straight to single mumdome (regardless if you are married or not).

[ecojeanne]

If you are not happy with sharing then it sounds like having kids for you would be a road straight to single mumdome (regardless if you are married or not).

if i ever have children then yes probably

[misombra]

so far the arguments for getting married include, but are not limited to...

1) you can call somebody your "husband/wife" as opposed to "girlfriend/boyfriend."

2) because that's just what you do when you're pregnant or have kids.

3) in order to spite others.


wow, i'm totally convinced now.

[Mish]

if i ever have children then yes probably

That's very sad eco. I've seen what single mums go through. It's not very pretty. It's especially bad for the children.

A question. If you have such a poor opinion of men, why do you date them? Why do you go out with them? If it's already obvious where it's all going to lead, why bother?

[misombra]

ooooooooooooo i'm seeing a little bit of the old mish coming back!

[Junket]

There's an old Mish?

[ecojeanne]

That's very sad eco. I've seen what single mums go through. It's not very pretty. It's especially bad for the children.

A question. If you have such a poor opinion of men, why do you date them? Why do you go out with them? If it's already obvious where it's all going to lead, why bother?

why so sad.. i have a good situation where i am able to feel this way, life for me is not all about rules, if a man ever comes along and i feel he's good enough (i do have doubts) i may consider other options but tbh i love being in my life the way it is with maybe a regular guy to see every now and then and childmind when i feel like it, that would be ideal...but who knows what the future holds..i may change my mind, is superman out there? i don't think so. if i ever have a child i know that life for him/her will be better than having to accomodate a selfish man...maybe i'm wrong...somehow i doubt it