Even now, 5 months after the breakup I still don't feel like I have closure. She was such a big part of my life and in the end we rushed things and there was just a lack of communication, or so I assume really. I posted the whole story somewhere on here, regardless of all the details of the story, I just struggle to find the inner peace I had closer to when we broke up. I think it is because everytime I had talked to her after, she gets all upset at me for not talking to her, when that is what she asked of me. She moved on completely, to my knowledge, and I am stuck here wallowing in my sorrow every other day. Although she is removed from my life as much as possible; she entered my work on the weekend and within minutes of spotting her I found myself in the back room breaking down. Once I regained my composure I returned to the floor to make sure she was gone. As much as I remove her from my life it is like I cannot totally escape from my pain, I know it will take time but this is just ridiculous.
I know deep down inside after all the pain she has caused me I could never be with her again, its just I long for how things were before. I guess I am writing this to try and seek advice in how to handle myself if I see her again, I obviously really want to avoid breaking down and having another anxiety attack like I did. Is there any advice anyone could offer? Or perhaps previous experiences that could perhaps assist me?