Someone Else....?

[DreamingSoul]

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and a half, close to two years now. And in the begginning, like all others, it was perfect since we were so much in love. We made alot of promises, talked about the future, were like each other's best friends we never thought we could have. But a couple months ago, in the beginning of the year changes started happening to him. He began changing. We hadn't saw each other in two weeks, mainly since he had to visit his family up in Wisconsin for Christmas, but whenever he returned he turned colder and then suddenly broke up with me, telling me that he no longer felt the same and that he doesnt want to get back together.

Hahaha, two weeks later he did come back like a sad little puppy with his tail between his legs. And yes I took him back, a decision I regret deeply. But only because I thought he had changed, but boy was I wrong. Sure, for the first couple weeks everything was normal, but we grew distant and he stopped calling frequently.

Two months later here I am, sick with the flu, so I had to miss a couple days of seeing him so I could get better, but man did I miss him and really want to talk to him. And the final day where I actually started to feel better I get a phone call from him. He was really quiet while I was telling him how sick I felt and how much I wish I could be in his arms, but then he finally let it all out.

"I think we should break up...I kinda...met someone else..." It hit me like a ton of bricks. The sickness returned and I felt like throwing up, but instead of crying and pleading I did the most sensible thing I could think of and started asking questions calmly and rationally about who it was. He said they met earlier that day and he also said that the girl told him that she really liked him alot but he forgot her name. And I asked him if he even told her that he still had a girlfriend but he said that it didn't come up in conversation which made me really upset but i decided not to press the issue and asked him if that was the only reason.

That and he wanted changes. That's what he said last time but then he came crawling back saying he wanted things to go back to the way they were.

So here I am, mixed up, confused, and utterly heartbroken. Him and the girl just met and he doesn't even know her name, but I guess it doesn't matter either way. I honestly have no clue on what to do....help please?

But before our last break up, right when things were starting to get rocky alot of people said that what it sounded like was that we were just friends with benefits. But because of that, I asked him about it and we got into a big fight about it. But then the next day he was all over me and telling me how sorry he was and how much he loved me, and this was the week before he broke up with me....so how can everything change in just 2 days while im sick....?

[misombra]

he had just met her that day? i call bullshit.

leave him alone and don't take him back.

[derbygirl]

I am going through something similar. I have been on both sides of this, actually.

What I'm starting to accept is that when the timing is wrong between two people and they each have past hurts or confusion, it's not going to work out.

There may be great times, and beautiful experiences during the relationship where you feel tremendously loved and valued--but those underlying problems will come out eventually, and then if you're both not ready to deal, it *will* crumble.

It hurts to say goodbye, especially while you are sick. Don't I know it. The sad thing about my story is that my relationship contributed to me being sick all the time. So it all snowballed. I hope you weren't sick because of your relationship. I hope you'll get better soon, and that your heart will begin healing.

My advice to you, from someone going through it, herself, is to use the happy memories to help you define what you want out of a relationship in the future. Also, use the frustrating things to help you figure out what you will not tolerate. I know it's hard to think of being with someone else when you still love him, but you really must look out for yourself. Don't waste this chance to take care of yourself, or you'll just end up in a different relationship with the same problems, and it will hurt that much worse.

(((((((((Hugs))))))))))

[Mish]

"I think we should break up...I kinda...met someone else..."

That and he wanted changes.

I don't believe this is real because I don't believe anyone can be this stupid.

If this is real then what are you asking? Is there really anything to ask? You obviously need to leave him and find someone else.