Depression and relationships

[Kiechi]

How well do you think these two components go together? Cos' it isn't doing wonders for me. All we do is argue now, maybe it's all my fault. I don't think so, sometimes, but she always does. So she makes me out to be the badguy by say I blame her all the time, which cock and bull. So I figure I go back on my meds, but she is dead against it, I don't know what to do. I really don't see my self getting out of this rut, what should I do? How do I break outside this spell and end this arguing?

Any advice is much appreciated. (Help an old friend out guys please! )

[Spring Haze]

Why is she against you being on medication? What are you arguing about?

[vashti]

Were your antidepressants helping you?

[Junket]

Oh, now he wants to talk to us.

[Kiechi]

Yes, but I would sometimes abuse them and mix with alcohol to get extra ****ed out of my face.

Meds are for depression.

[vashti]

Have you been seeing a counselor? And are you still using drugs?

[Kiechi]

Fras --- GF moved in and I don't really want her knowing about this place. This is my secret little corner of privacy on the internet where I can escape. She's already caught me once and questioned. I need it.

[Kiechi]

I quit the counselor because I didn't feel comfortable with it. And yes, yet only the soft shit. Quit the hard stuff along time ago.

[vashti]

Does your girlfriend use drugs or drink a lot, too?

[Junket]

Are you both on the lease?

[Mish]

What do the two of you argue about? And how often?

How long have you lived together?

[Kiechi]

Vashti --- No she's not.

Choi --- She's just been crashin' at mine rent free cos' she got kicked out her place.

Mish --- We argue over the silliest things, like talking a bit too loud in public or being overly crude, she used to laugh at that stuff. She'll argue with you over a pillow. We've argued about me going off on my own when things get rough, which I am guilty of, which isn't good. So she's gone out tonight with her mates at a bar to make me feel the way she feels when I go. She always says I start alot of the arguments, which I suspect may be true. because sometimes she can really iritate me especially when she can't remember things cos' she goes on how im talkin' shit. Been crashing together for 3 months now?

[vashti]

She's living there rent-free?

I think there is a lot of potential for problems when you try to mix depression and relationships. Personally, I think you should stop the alcohol and drugs, get a different counselor that you like better, and tell this girl it is time for her to contribute financially to this household. You are too young for all this responsibility.

I would have been okay with the antidepressants if you had been using them as ordered, but since you aren't, I don't think they are helpful either.

[ecojeanne]

maybe she just likes to argue, i assume you have told her that you NEED this time off by yourself? it's sounding a little unfair of her tbh. but i used to have a lot of arguments with my ex and tbh they were sometimes fantastic rows too, really cleared the air which he liked to avoid doing...maybe she is just going about it the wrong way?

[Mish]

Mish --- We argue over the silliest things, like talking a bit too loud in public or being overly crude, she used to laugh at that stuff. She'll argue with you over a pillow. We've argued about me going off on my own when things get rough, which I am guilty of, which isn't good. So she's gone out tonight with her mates at a bar to make me feel the way she feels when I go. She always says I start alot of the arguments, which I suspect may be true. because sometimes she can really iritate me especially when she can't remember things cos' she goes on how im talkin' shit. Been crashing together for 3 months now?

Thanks. I think it's good to argue from time to time about things which are really important in a relationship, if someone's needs are not being met. But if they start occurring too often, it may be a good idea to start picking your fights. Maybe some minor things can be ignored or let go?

The way the two of you address each other when arguing is also important. You have to be careful not to get carried away and get into insults. The general rule in relationship disagreements is 'We may disagree, but I still respect you'.