Why is marriage difficult?

[IndiReloaded]

Its not always difficult, Rider. Sometimes its wonderfully easy, with a solid marriage. Tho it takes effort to have such. Thought I should make this point since noone else has.

Again, it all goes back to that commitment. Plus the ability and desire to set up things that maximize everyone's happiness.

Marriage & family is really a multi-variable problem. Its difficult b/c most people can't even deal with a single variable in their lives (themselves). Throw another person, or more, into the mix and its chaos unless you have the qualities I mentioned. Trouble is, too many people think that the solution to their personal issues is another person, they don't understand they are increasing the complexity of their situation, not reducing it. Like DM said, being an idiot definitely doesn't help.

Hope that makes sense. That's really the answer as simply as I can explain it.

[Mish]

It's difficult because if you really mean it, it's for the rest of your life, and that's a pretty heavy burden to take on. Getting married effectively seals the exits and most people find that to be uncomfortable. Trusting someone so completely is scary.

I met quite a few people who think this way Giga. The way I see it all exits should be sealed in order to concentrate on raising a family. Peace of mind, clear goals, security. It's a good thing, that's how it should be. Why so many people are scared of that doesn't make sense to me. It's as if they don't trust themselves and the choices they make. They believe they will not be satisfied with what they have.

[bluesummer]

Interesting, my grandparents and all of my great aunts and uncles got married young, and none of them divorced. Then again none of them were idiots either

Same with the family of mine from that generation.

Thing is, DM, that divorce was not an option in their time. It made you a social pariah.

[DoesntMatter]

Same with the family of mine from that generation.

Thing is, DM, that divorce was not an option in their time. It made you a social pariah.

Exactly .

[bluesummer]

I guess the good thing about that was that it forced you to suck it up and sort out your problems.

The flip side is, if you're incapable of sorting out your problems, you spend your life in a loveless, potentially damaging relationship.

Which is the best choice? A society where divorce is essentially a non-option, or one that accepts it as normal?

[DoesntMatter]

One that doesn't consider it normal, but allows when it is very much needed

[IndiReloaded]

Soon, people will be able to divorce their children. Why ever not?

[Mish]

Marriage schools should start in Year 3. Compulsory exams if failed will mean the person will have to redo Year 3 until they succeed.

[Junket]

Why so many people are scared of that doesn't make sense to me. It's as if they don't trust themselves and the choices they make. They believe they will not be satisfied with what they have.

How does it not make sense to you? You provided a perfectly valid reason why people wouldn't want to get married in the same post.

[Mish]

How does it not make sense to you? You provided a perfectly valid reason why people wouldn't want to get married in the same post.

Well, it's a bad reason. It basically means people are too insecure with themselves.

[Junket]

Well, it's a bad reason. It basically means people are too insecure with themselves.

F*ck it, I don't know where I wanna live.

I don't know how long I'll be where I am.

I don't know where I want to go to school.

I don't know if I wanna stay in this line of work.

Why try to drag someone with different aspirations with you?

Actually, people like me are more secure because we're confident in our own ability to get along by ourselves.

I almost broke up with my g/f a few weeks ago and I already had a plan worked out should the ship sink. Good for me, is what I say.

[Mish]

I wasn't talking about you Fras. You're not scared of marriage.

[Junket]

I wasn't talking about you Fras. You're not scared of marriage.

Scared of marriage?

I hate the idea of marriage.

[Mish]

I hate the idea of marriage.

But you are not scared of it. There's a difference.

I was talking about people terrified of being with only one person with no way out.

[Junket]

But you are not scared of it. There's a difference.

I was talking about people terrified of being with only one person with no way out.

Well that bothers me too, there's so many girls I fall in love with every day.