HELP lonely and bored after breakup

[vv15629]

Ok so i recently broke up with my GF just last week. I didnt want to but i knew she wasnt treating me right and the relationship was just unfair so i was down to my last option and i had to do it. Now my ultimate plan is for her to finally realize somethings so we can eventually work this out. So i broke up with her friday morning and was doing ok throughout the weekend bc i was out doing stuff with my friend the whole time. then sunday night and now during weeknights i find my self soooo lonely w/o her since we would always just be together and sleep together everynight. im tryin hard to avoid callin and textin her all the time. I just get lonely and think so much to where i feel like i made a mistake but it just cause im lonely. I got good friends but still i cant bug them to occupy my time now everynight. I know time heals all, just sucks right now.

like i said i would love for her to realize things and work this out, but i understand that may not happen and we need to move on. so should i completely not talk to her unless she comes to me, or should i just say hey to see how shes doing occasionally?

[alovehangoverr]

Don't talk to her. Texting her, even if you claim it's just to find out how she's doing, is just bad news. Realistically you're not going to be doing it to check up on how she's doing, you're going to be doing it to ask her what she's been doing/is there hope for your relationship/to avoid letting things.

As for her realizing that she wasn't a great girlfriend and it motivating her to fix things? Ehhh. I'm not saying it never happens-- I'm just saying it's a rare thing to have happen. If she didn't feel the need to change her behavior when she was with you, she probably won't feel the need to after you've left her. Proof of that? She's not contacting you. She's not trying to win you back.

Keep doing what you're doing. Keep occupied with friends. Get a hobby. Start moving on.

You ended this relationship for a legitimate reason, now stick to it.

[jane]

I agree completely. You have to remember why you broke up in the first place. I know it seems hard right now... but it does get better. I remember hearing those words and not believing them but ... I am proof. Hang in there. Everytime you want to text or call... write what you want to say. If you start a journal, however silly it may sound, you have a chance to get the words out. It will help with the healing process.

[vv15629]

yeah i agree alot with what you guys said. There is no doubt in my mind that she has done some things that made me knew i deserve better. But now i just i keep thinking maybe i made a mistake, maybe i jumped the gun too soon. But i think this is just because im lonely and really miss her company right now. would you guys agree? I wish she would just move away or something, bc i dont wanna have to hear or see her with anyone else lol.

I really shouldnt even be asking about this i was in a heartbreaking seperation with my first GF of five years. i was only with this one for 9 months. i just think that me and this girl just hit it off soooo fast and spent almost every night together is making this tough. I mean we went from just meeting each other, and went on a weeks vacation with her and my friends, and then we inseperable. I do know time heals all from experience but hey...

so my last question, what should i do if she decides to start coming back, says she want to change for me and work this out etc... Do i jump back into it, do i say no or what?

[jane]

I can only speak from my experience, but I don't think you should have any contact with her. I know how hard that can be because Im going through it also. I want to call him and ask him everyday if he is doing ok.. but in reality, I know that its not a good idea. She will try and contact you.. its gunna happen. My advice, which I am even trying to take, is not to talk to her. I know your lonely.. believe me I am too. He was my best friend and my lover... but he was a crappy bf. Hang in there. You just have to try and stay busy. I go out with my friends and I am thankful for work being busy .. but on my days off and at night.. I get still get lonely. Its been 4 months... and I made the mistake of talking to him and it of course, set me back alittle.