Im upset, but should I be? Am i being selfish?

[london_guitaris]

ok heres the deal, i'm slowly getting over it but i had a hard time hearing it:

MY girlfriend used to be a hardcore partyer, and did drugs, and saw many guys but I don't have a problem with this, she's changed, and she always says i'm the reason which i'm flattered by

but the other day she came out with a story she hadn't told me before that happened 2 years ago and it hit a nerve:

She told me that:
one of her friends (Friend A) offered
her (my gf) 1000 pounds to have a threesome with
her (Friend A) and her BF

It didn't go to plan cos friend A broke up with her bf

It turns out that her BF gave her 2000 pounds to find a professional escort, but because she wanted to keep the money she asked my GF to be the escort so they could keep the money.

At this point i still don't have a problem, cos this was all past.

Then i go, so basically you WERE gonna sell yourself

she goes: No... how is that selling yourself?

Im like; cos you got offered 1000 pounds to act as a 3rd member of a 3some

it spiralled into a discussion which got me upset, we didn't shout or anything.
I basically got upset cos i feel that i got the impression she thought it was OK to that, and that it wasn't selling yourself. I dont care if she was going to/did engage in those activities but at least admit your faults... I feel crappy cos the emotions involved are just really complicated. theres more to the story but so far..

what are your opinions?

note: I wasn't upset that she engaged in these kind of activities, i'm upset that she didn't admit her mistake and didn't think there was anything wrong with it.
the only thing she thought that was wrong was that she shouldn't be sleeping with strangers!

plz.. can someone clarify first, is it classed as selling yourself? cos i think it is

[Gigabitch]

Okay, so it's all right with you that she was with "many guys" while she was doing drugs, right? The likelihood that she traded her "company" for drugs is pretty high, and it was probably with dirtbag partiers, too.

How is it possible that the only thing that bothers you about the whole scenario is the exchange of some cash?

[london_guitaris]

ok cos with the drugs thing - She has not done drugs for 5 years
With the guy thing - i've confronted her about it in the beginning of the relationship and its sorted.
She has alot of baggage and i understand why she did some things

the thing is she has admited all this stuff was wrong and moved on

the cash exchange annoyed me cos she didn't think there was anything wrong with it

[london_guitaris]

hey, i've been with this girl for a while now, and i trust her. and no she didn't trade her company for drugs.

at the end of the day people go through phases. that was a long time ago

[Cain]

What's the conversion between pounds and dollars?

I might be persuaded to sex a woman for $1,000.

[carl1222]

Sure, it's prostitution. She's done a lot of things that she isn't proud of and she's cleaned herself up nicely. She's not planning to consider doing it again. Why is it so important to take one more shred of dignity away from her by getting her to admit she thought about being a whore for a thousand quid? Of course she knows it for what it was. Do you need her to lie prostate on the floor in a hair shirt and admit it to you?

Carl.

[vashti]

I think you should really try to focus on her current character and forget about the stupid things she did (or thought she was going to do) when she was young and stupid. In the end, she didn't do this, and in all reality, she probably wasn't really going to ever get the opportunity anyway.

There was a movie a while back with Robert Redford and Demi Moore where he offered her a million dollars to spend the night with him, and her boyfriend gave his blessing. At the time, everyone I worked with was discussing whether or not they would do it. Most people said they would, depending on the amount of money involved. Everyone has a price.

[london_guitaris]

yeah thats basically why i've left it, she doesn't seem bothered about it, but i did think maybe she din't want to talk about it. I don't care if she did it (she was going to do it had the other couple not broken up).#

but i guess she's totally changed now.

the bit i'm slightly worried about is, if we have a daughter, will she one day teach her daughter it's ok?
like; our daughter one day says to her, a boy today asked me to sleep with him for 2000 pounds, would you do it mum?

i don't want her saying "yes its fine"

[fi123]

That last bit made me chuckle sorry....there are loads of things that you might do yourself that you would not recommend or tell your children to do...like i sometimes break the speed limit in my car when i am late for work but i certainly would not tell my daughter it is fine for her to do so.

Also it struck me that this girl must trust that you love her and love you a lot to tell you something like that..no one likes to admit their faults and things that they might be a little ashamed of even to themselves. Therefore I think it is wrong of you to carry on discussing it with her...it is in the past she trusted you enough to tell you....be careful of how you visibly react to things she tells you because otherwise she might start to keep secrets from you and you don't want that.