What does this mean

[LDG819]

I started grad school at a new college where I met and became friends with a guy there. During the Spring semester, we formed a friendship but there was a known mutual attraction. We hung out alot and I have met alot of his family. I recently got out of a relationship so I was not in a rush to jump into anything else, but I cannot deny I am really liking him. Less than a month before school ended, we shared some kisses, which were great. Well he graduated this semester and so that means he moved back home, but he has family where the school is so he said that he will be back here, even to see me.We plan on hanging out this summer.

I wrote him a letter just letting him know how I value our friendship and this and that which he liked. I am noticing how he is opening up little by little, letting his guard down with me. What got me confused is that he asked me if I loved him...which I don't. I like him very much and care about him and think that love comes with time (I told him that). I asked why and he said that he wanted to see what I was going to say and that he thought that I would be the only girl to say yes but he was wrong. I asked him why he thought that I would say yes and he said that out of all his friends, he has the greatest connection with me. I don't know what to make of that. I do like him alot and definitely want to take things slow, considering I came out of a serious long term relationship.

I guess I am confused a little bit because he has been pretty honest with me about his beliefs on relationships, marriage, and family. You know how some people lie to make themselves sound good to a person, he was brutually honest. And some of his answers he had I had agree to disagree with him. Although I like him alot, some of what he wants future wise may not match up with what I want, but I know some people change their views on things if THEY want to. So him letting his guard down slowly is kind of shocking me a little bit. What do you make of it?

[LDG819]

Bumping....Any Advice please???

[Lite]

Dunno, if his desires are so not in line with yours and you're looking for a long term relationship I would pass him by.

[finnman]

It sounds as though he's developing feelings for you and you're not on the same wavelength. That letter you mailed undoubtedly sent mixed signals. Something like that of a personal nature is almost guaranteed to make a guy think you have interest in him. You need to back away (and let him know you're backing away) without damaging the great friendship you have. Subtle things like talking about the new guy you met, etc.. should do the trick.

[LDG819]

It sounds as though he's developing feelings for you and you're not on the same wavelength. That letter you mailed undoubtedly sent mixed signals. Something like that of a personal nature is almost guaranteed to make a guy think you have interest in him. You need to back away (and let him know you're backing away) without damaging the great friendship you have. Subtle things like talking about the new guy you met, etc.. should do the trick.

But I do like him...ALOT and I am developing feelings for him. I just want to take it slow, especially since I have been a serious long term relationship not too long ago. I would not given him that letter if I did not like him. He was graduating and I really felt like I did not need to buy him something at the time so I gave him the letter to show how I valued his friendship, something he could remember me by. We are not even on the boyfriend/girlfriend level to really be talking about love. I just want to really get to know him as a person first bc friendships last longer than relationships.

[trisha]

so you extremely like him but you don't love him? Explain that to him and all the reasons why you are hesitant to jump into a new relationship.

i think it took him such great effort to let his guard down, if you value him, tell him honestly about your opinions regarding his views towards relationships, so that he'll know...

[LDG819]

so you extremely like him but you don't love him? Explain that to him and all the reasons why you are hesitant to jump into a new relationship.

i think it took him such great effort to let his guard down, if you value him, tell him honestly about your opinions regarding his views towards relationships, so that he'll know...

He already knows that I like him alot through actions. I don't really know if he is ready for a relationship considering that it would be long distance. He never mentions wanting a relationship.I do agree that he did make an effort into letting his guard down, but he is slowly doing it. Its not enough for me to let my down completely. As a matter a fact we had a great convo yesterday so that I could get a better understanding of why he asked me if I loved him. He told me that he was feeling lonely and he thought out of all of his friends, I would love him. Which is true to an extent. So maybe he is thinking of love in a different way. I asked if he loved me just because he asked me first and he said yes like he was afraid to say it. He said he love me as a friend. I explained to him if I was to love him it would not be just as a friend. IDK, I just one of those people that don't like throwing the word love around, its serious to me, especially when its with a person that i can see myself being with. But I definitely will have another conversation with him about his views with relationships with the time arises.