The Art of Chivalry

[SeXehBloNde]

Ok, so I was browsing Netscape and I found this article. After reading the entire thing, I realized, the person who wrote this really knows what they're talking about. Anywho, guys...follow the suggestions!!

Save equality for the workplace. When it comes to dating, women want men to treat them like ladies: They want to feel adored, they want to be romanced. It may seem like an old-fashioned concept, but chivalry is nothing more than the willingness to treat a woman well.

Flower Power

Women love flowers. You've never met one who doesn't, and you never will. The ten bucks you spend on a bouquet will score you an infinite amount of points. And if you don't have ten bucks, pick some flowers out of a stranger's garden. It's cheaper but just as effective.

After You

Trust me when I say that there is nothing outdated about stepping aside and letting a woman walk through that door first. Whether you're walking into a ballroom or a grocery store, give her the right of way. Women remember the little things, and this is definitely something she'll file away.

My Treat

It's not recommended that you foot the bill on every date, but you should pick up the tab the first time. Don't let her pay, even if she offers. You'll be sending the signal that she's worth it, which she hopefully is.

Armed and Ready

Put your arm around her waist. You'll make her feel sexy and feminine by creating the feeling that you're there to protect her, that she's your girl (at least for the moment) and that everyone might as well know it. Works every time.

Allow Me

If she's thirsty, get her the glass of water. If she's cold, get her a sweater. Of course you're not at her beck and call, but it's important to cultivate the idea that you have her best interest in mind. Given time, she'll repay every one of your good deeds.



If a guy did one or more of these things for me, I would for sure fall for him, that is, if I was already interested in him. What do you girls think about this? Guys, would you ever do any of this, or do you already?

[Fawn]

*sigh*
Each thing sounds so sweet....
*swoons*

[BillyGalbreath]

well ****, call me old fashioned or what you will, but I do those things already. I pay for dates, I buy flowers all the time, I get them things they need/want, I do the arm and PDA thing(s), and I let them thru the door before me always, i even will open the car door for her when we get in the car. I would open it for her when we get out too, but she doesnt wait for me to go all the way around the car... When I say she, I mean every woman that I've ever dated, or been with. I even do that for the girls I meet now a days. Everyone calls me old fashioned, maybe I am. I dont care. But I do have to mention one thing - none of this has ever gotten me anything...

[oscar60981]

I think these can work really well, but it really depends on the girl. In past experiences with doing all of these things on dates, I never really had any luck. But with my current girlfriend, these things scored me big points. The truth is, all girls love flowers but some girls want more... more competition maybe or playing hard to get. Either way, I think it all depends on the girl...

[MVPlaya]

Problem with well intentioned stuff is that it frequently makes you look desperate (or inconfident).

Also, never take dating advice from women.

[LucidDream]

We always get the same kind of replys from you dont we Playa?

[Sine-Nomine]

I don't see how any of the above things mentioned by the man who wrote the article would make you look desperate or inconfident. Seems like they are merely compassionate and gentlemenly things to do. None of what he said cries out "Oh he's unsure of himself!' or 'He only does it cause he's desperate!'

Open a door for a lady one day, never have I seen a woman give me a disgusted look. Always a smile and a thank you.

-Shea

[LucidDream]

Yeah, if anything it takes confidence to do those things.

[MVPlaya]

1. Flower Power
   
   Women love flowers. You've never met one who doesn't, and you never will. The ten bucks you spend on a bouquet will score you an infinite amount of points. And if you don't have ten bucks, pick some flowers out of a stranger's garden. It's cheaper but just as effective.
   
   
2. After You
   
   Trust me when I say that there is nothing outdated about stepping aside and letting a woman walk through that door first. Whether you're walking into a ballroom or a grocery store, give her the right of way. Women remember the little things, and this is definitely something she'll file away.
   
   
3. My Treat
   
   It's not recommended that you foot the bill on every date, but you should pick up the tab the first time. Don't let her pay, even if she offers. You'll be sending the signal that she's worth it, which she hopefully is.
   
   
4. Armed and Ready
   
   Put your arm around her waist. You'll make her feel sexy and feminine by creating the feeling that you're there to protect her, that she's your girl (at least for the moment) and that everyone might as well know it. Works every time.
   
   
5. Allow Me
   
   If she's thirsty, get her the glass of water. If she's cold, get her a sweater. Of course you're not at her beck and call, but it's important to cultivate the idea that you have her best interest in mind. Given time, she'll repay every one of your good deeds.
   
   
6. If a guy did one or more of these things for me, I would for sure fall for him, that is, if I was already interested in him. What do you girls think about this? Guys, would you ever do any of this, or do you already?

Counter-Point:

1. Buying flowers is definitely desperate. By buying a girl flowers you are sending an immediate signal that you're buying, and she's selling, effectively you're placing control in her hands. Dating is a two-way process, she has to try and seduce you, if she knows (or suspects) that you're hooked, you just ruined her fun and she loses interest. Furthermore, it doesn't really accomplish anything, certainly not on your first (and last?) time out together.
   
   
2. Something she'll definitely file away? Uhhh... not really. If you want to open the door, open it. If you don't, don't. Its that simple. You have to be at ease, women enjoy confidence. When I open the door for women, its not because its "nice," "gentlemanly," ot a "take charge" kind of thing, its because I want to. When you sit there and do things like "oh I'm supposed to do this... oh I'm supposed to do that" it sends a desperate signal to a girl, it tells her you're trying overly to impress her and she won't interpret that in a good way. The key is to be confident that you don't need to impress her, you are the catch.
   
   
3. Sending the signal that she's worth it? Here you go, you're worth $24.67. What the **** does that mean? If you go out of your way to buy women stuff, be it dinner, flowers, presents, you are sending a signal that you are trying to "buy her." Also, if you're a college student, you have bills to pay. If you're dating life is active and you go out with a lot of girls, you don't feel like picking up the tab, splitting the tab is not only financially sound, but with confident girls, the right choice. When I go out I'll usually split the date up, first part at a restaurant, second part at a bar, if I pay at the restaurant, she'll offer (90% of the time) to pick up the tab at the bar, and this way she is returning a favor and signalling that she is interested in me. Dating is a two-way game.
   
   
4. Putting your arm around the girl works, but not necessarily for that reason. It shows you're at ease and that you're not afraid to touch her or be affectionate, and it also shows confidence.
   
   
5. That would be lovely in an ideal world. Women try to manipulate you. They really do, from the experienced serial daters to the "shy girls" or "nice girls," they will always try to play you. They will usually ask you for favors just to see if you'll do it, know when she is trying to play you and when she really needs your help. You have better stuff to do than sit around and pander to her needs. If you want to help her, know that she needs your help, and are sure that this isn't one of those little mind games/power games (yes, even for really trite things, women will do those), then go ahead and help her. But if not, don't. You're a busy guy, and she's going to have to earn your time.
   
   
6. Okay, this is based under the assumption that blondy is already interested, when women are already interested in you, have already discovered that you're a catch, this sort of thing ceases to be desperate, but you can still ALWAYS blow it by turning too affectionate.
   
   Also, never take dating advice from women. Seriously...

[Prodigal]

I see both sexeh's and MVP's points. Why? Because all women are different. Some women may like the whole nice guy/chivalrous thing, others want confidence over anything else. The problem I have with these little dating advice things (even if it isn't serious... i overanalyze, so I apologize) is that if people follow them, it may cause them to be unlike themselves. So you open the door for the girl. That's great, if it's something you want to do honestly. If you're only doing it to try to impress her, well, it won't work. Being a fake is a surefire way to not get what you want, if what you want is love.

[Danog]

Flower Power - No
Haven't done this yet, and I don't think I will unless it's a special moment. Her birthday which is in January.

After You - Yes
I try and do this as much as I can. Usually opening the door first or holding it open.

My Treat - Yes
I feel obligated to foot the bill and I do it 95% of the time. Usually for the expensive shit.

Armed and Ready - Yes
I do it all the time. It's a lesser form of PDA (Public Display of Affection) that she really likes.

Allow Me - Sort of
I pretty much let her know many times that I'm there for her.

Hrm, 3.5/5. Not bad.

But I do agree with MVPlaya's counter points. As much as it may seem the gentlemanly thing to do, you still have to realize you are the man and that you aren't just being pussy-whipped.

[LucidDream]

I think its best to be yourself.
If you are the gentleman, you will probaly fall for the kind of girl that would apreciate these kind of things.
If you are a 'man' (as MVPlaya had described in another thread), then you will probaly like the kind of girl that would apreciate your impulces.

Just be yourself and you will do fine.
But in the case of 'Opposites attract' then they might not apreciate what is in your nature to do.
There is a fine line between pretending to be someone elce and trying to change, but I belive that there is a difference.

[syz2688]

pointed noted.....I've done all that and even go to the extend of sending her to school.....know what ****.....she told me not to send her to school because she don't want to trouble friends....but she still want to meet next week....did get rejected?