I lost her

[SongOfaLife]

I have lost. But I'm glad, for I have come to understand that only a man who has lost can know the true value of winning.
Only a man who has loved truly can let the woman he loved go....

I love you, and always will..

[Gigabitch]

Awww. I know how you feel. I think most of us do.

I appreciate how you're handling this with dignity- sets a good example to others.

[SongOfaLife]

Thank you, you are helping me.. The pain is eating me alive. But I want her to be happy, and I'm gonna let her go, so that she could be happy...

[Gigabitch]

I suggest you go ahead and let it out. Tell us the whole story. That helped me when I felt like I was falling into a black hole.

[SongOfaLife]

I met her when we were young, because of the song "Truely, madly deeply"(It's another story). Well then we were in love madly and deeply. We were together for almost 9 years. She was the most amazing beautiful thing you have ever seen. And how she took care of me, and loved me. I never thought anyone could love that much. Her only world was me. And I loved her so much. But I think I didn't show it that much. I wrote her poems, we watched movies, we traveled together, had so much fun romance, yeah, but I never realized that I make her unhappy because of my bad temper and carelessness. Yes sometimes I did not care at all.. I loved her, But not to see the gift right there and hold on to it.. What a fool I have been.

I would have done anything for her, and I still would. But you know what that's not enough. It's not enough if you don't do it when its needed.

One day she decided that she had enough of it. She said she is not happy. And then only I realized it. She is gone.
Who is to be blamed? Of course its me. Can I not change in 9 years? Sometimes it takes 9 years to realize that you just threw away what matters most to you, just because you are a fool.

Do I want to get over her? No never, she is a part of me. It can never be undone. If I could just let her know one more time, how much I cared? to get her back? No. just because I cared. I have let her go. Even though its the hardest thing I have ever done.

I'm sorry, I just wanna let our all these, what I feel. They keep coming and ...........

[lastwish]

Well...if you have done everything to salvage the relationship then I guess letting go is the best thing to do.

[Yggdrasil]

Reality check: it takes 2 in a relation. It's not all your fault.

Stop beating yourself up.

Accept the loss, grieve, but also learn from it.

Take this time to improve as a human being, to work on your bad temper problems, enjoy the time alone, go through some spiritual growth, you'll come out stronger and better prepared for another, hopefully more fullfilling relation.

[SongOfaLife]

Thank you. At this point I just want to deal with the pain somehow. I think time will heal. I have to survive one painful day at a time.

[Lite]

You know, the opposite of love isn't hate, or pain, or wishing them well. It's ambivalence. Their existence has no affect upon your life in one way or the other.

Start that new hobby you've been pondering forever. It'll create new memories to bond to and immerse yourself in until the old stuff heals up enough to be dealt with properly.

[SongOfaLife]

Most amazing thing happened yesterday. She sent me a text. It began with " I always wanted to be with you..... " And ended with "If I could I would love you forever".

I cant understand it, just when I think she's gone. What is she doing?

[Yggdrasil]

No clue. Could mean many things. From: I'm missing you and hurting over some cruel mindgame to goodbye.

Only she knows.

My advice: don't pressure. If she comes back for one reason or another, take it easy. If for some reason she's still willing to have a relation with you, work the problems. Go couple counseling. The both of you.

She's the one who left. If there's a return, it'll be on her terms.