I feel completely unappreciated. PLEASE HELP

[Cantthinkofone]

My fiance and I have been living together for a couple of years. Lately, I have been feeling totally unappreciated. I cook for him, I clean for him, I do his laundry for him and it seems like all he does is bitch. He also spends a vast majority of his time at home talking to random people on various chat sites (not sex chats, but like specific hobby chats... although they end up talking about all sorts of shit and from when I have glanced over at his computer while he's typing away Ive seen him lie to people on there about what he does and talk about me and women in general like a sexist jerk which is so unlike him, he also talks to a lot of girls on there though Im not really worried about him cheating). I would spend an hour to cook him something because he is whining that he is hungry the whole day, then have to wait twenty minutes for him to grace me with his presence because he is chatting and then he scarffs it down and goes right back to chatting. The only time he's not online chatting, watching porn or doing random things online is when he wants food, sex, to watch something on tv or the occasional cuddle.

I have tried to talk to him about it, but every time I do he turns it around on me and calls me needy or a jealous girlfriend, so I dont really see the point bringing it up anymore but its really bothering me. I dont think I am needy, I love spending time alone. I just dont like feeling like I am being taken advantage of and not appreciated at all. Is there anything I can do?

[Gribble]

I don't appreciate you enough to read your post. Sorry.

[lizzy_09]

As what you’ve describe, he seems to be bored with your relationship. Try to make it exciting for him. You want his attention, so go get it. Did you watch that movie “The Break–Up” where Jennifer Aniston got some kind of wax and got naked while walking by Vince Vaughn who was watching cable? Distract him. There are a lot of ways to make you look hot and oozing with sex. Or you could inform him that at a certain day on a week end, you go out for an adventure. Like mountain climbing and having wild sex when you’ve reached the very top. LOL. If that doesn’t work, then find ways to make him jealous. Find a gay friend whose to manly enough to pass as a love interest and make your guy feel insecure. LOL.

[Zekang]

lol at the post above me

my advice is look at what he does online. cause believe it or not the internet is a pretty nice place to see a persons character. if hes acting that way online its because thats who he is when hes not afraid of what people think of him. either that or hes trying to be macho for his online friends. considering hes lying about what he does for a living id assume he probably has pretty low self esteem so it could very well be that.

of course ive never met the guy or know anything about em so maybe im wrong he could verywell be an asshole lol

as far as him not appreciating you... stop being his slave eh? if hes hungry he can cook it himself or wear his clothes till they fall apart. why do you feel the need to do things for him if he makes you feel that way?

and as far as giving him sex? id give em a bottle of lotion and tell em to enjoy ;P

but hey thats just my opinion

[Yggdrasil]

Ah... well.. you can come to my place and cook, clean and do the laundry. It'll be appreciated and you'll even get paid for it.

I'm not sure what the current wages are for a maid or housekeeper, but that shouldn't be to hard to find out right?

Hope you're getting my gist here.

Dump the user.

[***Butterfly***]

Why do you put up with that? I'd kick him out. Dont try to impress him or do even more nice things for him! Well, you could pack up his shit for him while he's gone & change the locks.
Seriously! Guys can change, but they will only do it if they know that they have lost you otherwise! If he doenst come crawling back begging you to take him back, then he sooooo wasn't worth it!

[vashti]

How silly it is to even *consider* marrying a guy like this!!

All I can say is that people will do what others will tolerate.

[bluesummer]

I agree with Vash, he's continuing to do it because you're continuing to tolerate it.

If you don't cook for him, he'll have to get off the computer to get his own food. Stop 'rewarding' him with things he doesn't deserve.....like food, sex, and cleaning up after him. He's a big boy, he should know how to do this stuff for himself anyhow. If he thinks it's your JOB, well you should just get the hell out. It's not 1955, and you're not there to be his slave.

[lizzy_09]

If you’ve tried all you can to try to get through to him. Then, for once give yourself a long holiday and let him do all the chores in the house. LOL. And when your back, make sure that to cook meals only for you and do your own laundry. Leave his laundry and let him do it on his own. LOL. When he starts complaining, tell him that he more needy towards you then you do. LOL. Damn, I'm so evil. Tell him you need a break from doing all his chores. LOL

[navybones]

lol, I like this place...

Anyways:

Just as a general statement I used to be the same way in terms of a computer whore - I joined the Navy... Not what I suggest you have him do, lol - but; I agree with what some of the people above said - Essentially you've both gotta get outta the house. Take time to do more things together. Or get proactive, grab a computer and start chatting in the same rooms*




*Note: Chat rooms are thee single darkest places on the entire internet. You've been warned, lol.