Please help me.

[rangersman]

Hi all, Im new here and I'd love some help on what to do in my situation.
I am 24 and my girlfriend is 25 and I have been with her now for a year and I love her so much. Thing is I had only been with one woman before her and I was with her for 7 years and have 2 kids to her, my partner on the other hand has been with 8 other men and 4 of them were just more or less sex. I can seem to get my head round this, I get images and think up scenarios and stories and stuff and torture myself something rotten. I cant help doing it and its tearing us apart because neither of us know what to do to solve the problem. I have been reading on the net about this and most of the answers are that Im to end it but I couldnt, I want to marry her and spend my life with her. Can someone please help me or give me some advice or give us a time machine so we can change the past

[Yggdrasil]

You can't change the past. You can learn to accept it. Yours as well as hers.

If you're going to marry your g/f with that kind of mindset, you're in for another breakup.

I suggest to go seek professional help to get over your issues.

[rangersman]

I know I need to seek help from somewhere but I dont know where and how, I know this is a really weird thing to go through and I have been trying to get over it for a long time but just no further forward at all. There are days where I dont think anything but once we fall out a tiny bit then it comes again for a day or two, I just cant handle it anymore.

[Yggdrasil]

You'd be looking for a neuropsychologist, relationship counselor or psychiatrist. Should be in the phonebook.

Don't let those words scare you. You're not a nutcake. Your mind simply is stuck in some unhealthy mental loop and those people can explain you how to break that cycle.

[Sonrisa]

i am kinda stuck on you having 2 kids. shouldn't that be the main issue in your life?

[vashti]

You obviously can't marry someone whose past you can't come to terms with. I don't really think you need a shrink to tell you that - it's common sense. And personally, I don't really see any good reason why you shouldn't have a problem with her past. You are allowed to have a different set of moral standards than she has. You just aren't allowed to torture her over your differences in values for the rest of her life.

[Sonrisa]

what if SHE had 2 kids?

[whaywardj]

Quit thinking about you so much. The only reason her past is bothering you is because you're stuck on YOUR preferences so tightly you can't 'live and let live'. Not at all a good mindset to have going into a marriage, nor one that does your children any good, either. Get over yourself. You're not that special.

[rangersman]

True Im not that special but everyone deserves happiness do they not?
It wouldnt bother me at all if she had 2 kids because then I know what she has done is for something.
I believe that sex is an act between 2 people in love, not just something to get rid of urges and use people for, thats why masterbation was invented.
I just dont want to think that she was throwing it about and there are men about there talking about what they have done with her and things. If someone doesnt think the same as me then it really doesnt make much sense to them.
If yous look at it this way, imagine your partner has lay on there back for 8 other men before you, or stuck there penis in 8 different woman and most of them they werent even going out with, it would bother yous too, wouldnt it?

[Yggdrasil]

Bud, turn it around, before you were with her, you had sex with the mother of your children. Before that, I don't know, maybe you had a girlfriend or two, who knows. You had sex with more than one partner to. Gosh, what do we have to think about you?

Before I met Mrs. Ygg, I had 3 girlfriends. I had sex with 2 of them. Mrs. Ygg wasn't a virgin either, she had 2 boyfriends before me and had sex with both. So what?

What your partner did BEFORE you and her got together, is the PAST. What counts is now. Is she faithfull to you?

I just was thinking here.. Are you PROJECTING?

[Sonrisa]

sex is not an act of love, it's an act of lust. i had many penises stuck into me and never heard anyone complain.

[rangersman]

what does projecting mean?
I have only had one sexual partner before her, thats the problem. I have been brought up thinking that you meet someone and fall in love and have sex, not meet someone, have sex and then decide 8 different times that the folk are tossers, its too hard to not think about.
Yeah if I had more partners it would feel different Im sure but this is the way it is and I just want to get over it.
Sonia or whatever your name is, who cares how many cocks you've had, dont think you should be bragging slut!

[WantsItToWork]

the truth is, its the past, things could be alot worse. you had sex and have proof of having sex(your kids). Think about it from her end, your mad she had sex with other guys but shes being accepting of marying you with two kids that arent her own. She has the bigger burden than you.

[Gigabitch]

True Im not that special but everyone deserves happiness do they not?

Then let yourself be happy. You're ruining this for yourself.

You have an extremely naive and immature outlook on sex, kind of like I did when I was fifteen. You need some forced personal growth, here.

[whaywardj]

Then let yourself be happy. You're ruining this for yourself.

You have an extremely naive and immature outlook on sex, kind of like I did when I was fifteen. You need some forced personal growth, here.

I dunno, Giga. Pinning his eyelids open and making him watch video loops of his gf screamingly ****ing her eyes out with (big, black?) men might push him over the edge and we might end up with a serial sniper on our hands.