Please, please, please HELP!!!

[Innocence]

Hey Everyone

Yes, yes, I know by now your going, 'ohhh no, not innocence again!'...but yes...I again...have another problem

Okay....as you all probably well know, i like this guy, i've asked him out, and he turned me down, saying he can't really see anything more than friendship between us...then again...he goes...he starts liking girls after a while....and he still doesn't know about us....

So anyway...one of his friends likes me...i mean...really likes me....and the guy i like knows this....and he says..that i should only go out with him if i like him very much...and he keeps saying that he doesn't want to talk about it...and not just go out with his friend because of the sake of having a boyfriend. Anyway....I went to a get together with some of our mates...me and the guy i like...and the guy that likes me....and a few other people...anyway...the guy who likes me...started hugging me...and putting his arm around me....and kissing my cheek and neck..and hair...and stuff...nothing...too serious!!...Anyway...me and my friend and the guy i like..went for a walk...and he's saying..that i should tell him off if he does anything that i don't like...and he said that he keeps looking over at us...that he is overprotective and it sucks...

Anyway...i don't know what i should do...whenever the guy that i like starts hugging me and kissing me...all i can think about is the guy i like...i know!..its bad...the guy that likes me ..he's sweet....but i really like this other guy...should i just go out on a date with this guy..and see what happens? ..or should i tell the guy that i like that i'm picturing him kissing me and hugging me?...

Please, please help!!!..i don't know what to do...

btw - I'm 18..i haven't had a boyfriend yet...and i haven't been kissed...or had any physical handling....

[Prodigal]

I'll be blunt. You can't go on like this. If you don't like this guy, you don't like him. Don't try to like him, because attraction comes without blatant effort. Or it should, at least. Tell the guy you like that you're picturing him doing this stuff to you when SOMEBODY ELSE is doing it?!? That's insane. If you're going to do that, you might as well try again for the real thing instead of trying to lie to yourself and get stuck in some illusionary relationship. In relationships, you have to be somewhat selfish. Don't get stuck in something that YOU don't want. But also consider that you can't be too selfish- if the guy you like doesn't like you, you can't force anything because you want him bad. If that happened, it'd be the same thing that's happening to you now. It seems that he has feeling for you- sure, it could be a close friend or brotherly/sisterly thing with the overprotection, but I sort of doubt it. I think he's a bit jealous of your friend. And besides, this friend of his doesn't seem to be so 'sweet' if he's planting all these kisses on you and being all touchy, especially if you're not returning it.

Take your friend's advice- don't go out with this guy unless you really like him. And you said this guy takes a while before he likes a girl, right? Analyze the situation yourself. Do you REALLY like this guy that you said that you liked? In that I mean, do you like him a lot? If you do, get out of this current thing and wait for him. It's one thing to take action and be blatant (asking him). But I think it shows a lot more if you wait for him to come to his decision. Believe me, from what you said, I feel that I'm a lot like this guy. It's one thing to want someone NOW, but it shows so much more if you stick around and you're still for them when they develop that feeling. It shows not only that you wanted them THEN, but you still want them even though it has been a while.

[KirstyM]

I agree, dont go out with the guy unless you really like him as a person which you obviously dont. As for the other guy you do like - he's chosen not to start a relationship with you so you have to respect that decision.