I would like to know your thoughts;emotional abuse

[IndiReloaded]

Just get on that schedule & switch your emotional brain off for a while. Seriously. Guys are sooo much better than women at doing this, but it IS possible.

Guys: I know you all feel emotions. Can you explain to the gal HOW you manage to switch off like this? Is there something physical you do? Or a mental trick? Throw this gal a bone, I dunno how to explain it better.

[Yggdrasil]

Just get on that schedule & switch your emotional brain off for a while. Seriously. Guys are sooo much better than women at doing this, but it IS possible.

Guys: I know you all feel emotions. Can you explain to the gal HOW you manage to switch off like this? Is there something physical you do? Or a mental trick? Throw this gal a bone, I dunno how to explain it better.

The best way I can explain it is that we guys tend to let us be guided by reason while women tend to let them be guided by emotions.

[vashti]

The best way I can explain it is that we guys tend to let us be guided by reason while women tend to let them be guided by emotions.

I generally only find this to be true until men get married, and girls grow into women.

[Yggdrasil]

I generally only find this to be true until men get married, and girls grow into women.

I respectfully agree to disagree

[Sonrisa]

I generally only find this to be true until men get married, and girls grow into women.

I respectfully agree to disagree

both of you are correct up to a point.

[Yggdrasil]

both of you are correct up to a point.

I noticed vashti and I are like fire and ice on quite a few things.

I think that's a good thing, it gives both perspectives.

[Sonrisa]

I noticed vashti and I are like fire and ice on quite a few things.

I think that's a good thing, it gives both perspectives.

that's what you get with mature reasonable people, hey and you are opposite sexes as well. this proves my point, that many women do become more reasonable and less emotional after marriage.

[Yggdrasil]

that's what you get with mature reasonable people, hey and you are opposite sexes as well.

I refuse to grow up

I wanna be a child till I die.. lol

Oh.. did I ever mention I still fly kites?

[Sonrisa]

I refuse to grow up

I wanna be a child till I die.. lol

Oh.. did I ever mention I still fly kites?

too late for that. once you hit dementia only then can you feel like a child.

[Mish]

But then it started to sink in that he was really going to do it and I broke down. I started crying hysterically and begging for him to stay. Pulling on his arms and telling him to look me in the eyes and say this is what he wanted. And oh he sure did let me have it. He told me he didn't love me, that he never loved me. That I disgusted him, that I was unattractive. That I was pathetic. And a million things more. And that only upset me more. I have a history of self-mutilation and this just made me crack. I went into the bathroom and really messed up my arms with a razor.

With so many personal problems, I don't think you are ready to be in a relationship Brit. It sounds ironic because you are in one, but you need to get out asap. If you stay you are going to self destruct. There is nothing that you are getting from him only more and more pain. I advice for you to go back to living with parents or if that's not possible on your own and meditate, self health until you don't feel like you need him or anyone to be with you.

Also, self mutilation is usually a sign of in the severe case a psychological disorder or in a milder case severe depression. You are not the only one that this happens to, there are many people just like you who go through the same things. There are support groups out there which consist entirely of these people who will understand you. In summary, it's not too late to seek help, but you must do it now before it's too late. You need to make a firm decision and stick by it (not walk away from it), it will be hard at first, but easier with time.

[Yggdrasil]

too late for that. once you hit dementia only then can you feel like a child.

Partypooper

LOL

[BritNasty]

Well, he just old me he's going to leave me, "when he feels like it" SO i feel a little pressed to tell him to get the **** out now. Everyday it takes more and more out of me. And I'm beginning to realize, with everyone on this forum and close friends help, that this isn't my fault and there is a better life out there for me. We're actually arguing right now. And I'm not being weak like usual. I'm telling him that if he wants to leave then he should leave. And that I'm tired of doing this. He says that I push him to treat me this way. If I stop the CAUSE that maybe the EFFECT will change. He's saying again that our sex is boring and repetitive. And now he's saying that he doesn't want to break up. And he wants to fix this. I think I'm just going to let this happen. I suppose I'll let you guys know what happens tomorrow. I'm goign to try and stay strong. Thank you for everyone's encouraging words. Hopefull I can find the strength to finally stand up for myself and let him go.

[Gigabitch]

When you stand up to him, make sure somebody else is standing right next to you. This guy is potentially very dangerous.

[vashti]

I respectfully agree to disagree

Our difference of opinion is probably directly related to the types of people we associate with. Clearly, your wife must be an emotional woman, who probably surrounds herself with equally emotional women. I tend to prefer the company of practical, sensible women. And yes, I have noticed a lot of men that have romanticised ideas about marriage.

[Junket]

He says that I push him to treat me this way. If I stop the CAUSE that maybe the EFFECT will change.

This is classic manipulative/abusive behavior.

This may all seem legitimate in his mind, but in actuality what he's doing is putting all the blame on you. If he makes you feel like you've done him wrong, like you made him the victim, he'll always be able to control you. 'Cause now it's like you done him harm and now you owe him something, that you deserve being punished.

Now, clearly since you've been in this relationship so long, I wouldn't say you're 100% the victim. I'm sure you're a little off your rocker, too, but you can work on that after you get rid of this little cock.

Are you renting?