How to Deal With Past Behavior

[Beach Life]

I am newly separated after 27 years of marriage. I met a wonderful woman through a dating service and have been with her for eight months. She was married for 17 years and had a kinky sexual relationship with her ex. I have no problem with that, even though it is not my thing. He did abuse her verbally though and that is what caused the split.





I am living with her now and recently found some incredibly vile photos of her ex-husband naked, maturbating and having sex with a blow up doll. The pictures were taken in her new home, after the split. I did confront her and she said she merely dressed up for him in a sexy outfit, but did not have physical sex with him. She also said that alcohol was involved and she needed attention.




I care deeply about her but want to make sure I know her. I suspect she charged him for sexual favors after the split. I also suspect that she enjoyed teasing him even after he abused her. She is a self-defense expert and certainly doesn't fear him physically.



It only bothers me because she said she fought so hard to get away from him, purchase a new home, and then invited him over for what I consider to be disgusting behavior.

Please help me to understand.

[Doc Durian]

Honestly? The way you've described it... Turf her.

[vashti]

Who the hell would want a picture of that, except maybe to make fun of?

Eww.

Your girlfriend sounds very odd.

[Charlie Boy II]

there's been some kinky stuff on these boards lately

[Doc Durian]

there's been some kinky stuff on these boards lately

I can deal with the kinky, more or less... but I can't deal with liars, cheats, people who dabble with supposed ex's, or people who aren't monogamous to the one they've chosen to be with.

The fact that this fellow thinks she "charged" him is every indication that he should give her the flick.

She's "kinky", I'm sure she and her sex toy chest can deal with it.

[Yggdrasil]

I am newly separated after 27 years of marriage. I met a wonderful woman through a dating service and have been with her for eight months. She was married for 17 years and had a kinky sexual relationship with her ex. I have no problem with that, even though it is not my thing. He did abuse her verbally though and that is what caused the split.

Just based on this, I would say you may have moved way to fast into a new relation without giving yourself time to grow as an individual.

I also mean to see that you may have met one with a lot of baggage from her past relation. I can't see that going well in the long run.

When it comes to the rest:

I think you're paying the price for your impatience.