It may sound like I am the most insecure person in the world but it's not that I am being insecure. I just feel that my bf has been very disrespecful to me.
He met this girl in a club about 2 years ago. She actually approached him first then asked for his number. She texted him later. They then started talking with subseqeunt texts, phone calls, IM, facebook and occasional meet ups in a club/gigs..
Before I and my bf started our relationship, he used to tell me how much he liked this girl. He used to say he wouldn't mind just being there for her and waiting for her to break up with her bf just to be with him! - he liked her that much! It was all too painful to me to listen as I've had feelings for him.
Time has passed. We got together. There was a time I got very upset over this girl, knowing how much he liked her and how much it hurt me... That was a while ago when I found that he was still talking to her. But then, I thought she is in the past now.
We've been living together 8 months. Been in a relationship about 17 months but have known each other over 2 years.
Just last week, someone started talking to him via IM and he would usually tell me who's talking to him but not that day. I said 'Who's that?'. He just said 'Stop being paranoid'. hmm it got me intrigued and I just looked over his shoulder (to his awareness) to find that it was that girl.
I was upset but didn't say a thing then. He carried on chatting, saying nothing to me, and spent 20~30 minutes talking to her. Then, he acted like nothing happened.
Noticing that I am not the usual myself over the next 5 days or so, he keeps telling me that he doesn't understand why he's being punished for 'I haven't done anything wrong. She is just a friend. Why can't I talk to my friend?'.
By now, I got to know that apparently he's been talking to her once for every 2 or 3 weeks. All this time.
I am fine with him going to clubs/gigs, meeting his friends (female or male) and doing his own things with or without me. I don't have any issue with any other his female friends.
But when it comes to this girl, as far as I know, she is not just one of those friends. She was someone he said he liked A LOT. The fact that he is still talking to her without caring much how I would feel seems to me that he's being very much disrepectful to me.
There is no reason not to trust my bf but that's not an issue. She just brings the bad and sad memory back. I wish I could be cool about this girl but I know no matter how hard I try, I can't.
I don't know what to do really....