the ex...

[Bo]

So I went for quite sometime without talking/seeing my ex that I was with for 3 years...and hung out with him an his cousin yesterday. It's always weird and sad to see him but everytime I do see him, I'm reminded of why we're not together.

I'm literally seeing his life go down the shit hole and honestly, I'm done trying to save him. He's just so far in and has no goals for himself. He's pretty much living in an imaginery world, and I know it's because of the people he's around...his friends and his family. I know his family really well and sometimes I feel like they've all ****ing lost their minds except for his mom but he doesn't listen to her. His cousin is a cool guy and all but I really do think he's fcuking psycho and he hits on me all the time(& he's married with a child on the way) even around my ex.

I don't even know....even though we're not exactly a part of each others lives anymore I feel like I'm the only sane person in his life and I feel like I'm responsible for helping him get better. The sad part is that he really actually thinks there's nothing wrong with him. I know he's doing drugs all the time, he took up smoking cigarettes a little before we broke up which he always tried to hide from me. He doesn't dress nice like he used to and looks like a bum most of the time. He quit one of his jobs simply cuz he just didn't like it...In order for me to help him I feel like we'd have to be just friends and I don't think that could or will ever happen. It's just so damn hard to see him like that, I still just put on a smile and act like nothing is wrong with the situation..

Everytime i ask him, he tells me he's perfectly happy but I KNOW he's not....I guess I can't help someone who's in denial anyway..

[DoesntMatter]

Why do you care about helping him? That's his problem, and for you, that problem is probably unsolvable

[lastwish]

I will direct you to the "Shining Knight Syndrome" thread that has been sticky posted under love advice forum.

[Bo]

Why do you care about helping him? That's his problem, and for you, that problem is probably unsolvable

I care because there's always gonna be a part of me that loves him. He's completely different from how he used to be and I guess it's just hard for me to see someone I care about throwing their life away...Doesn't mean I wanna be with him, I'm over that, it's just sad that he's going in a downward spiral and doesn't even realize it.

I'm a bit surprised...you been around these forums long enough to realize what you're doing is wrong. Be strong, completely disconnect yourself from him and his family and get on with bettering yourself. You should only have on concern right now, taking care of yourself.

You clearly aren't over him if you're posting things like this, so why do you still come in contact with him? If his family are a bunch of nut cases, why do you hang out with them? You're not married to this guy, you have no responsibility to help him. Start making yourself happy and find a guy that's worth being around.

I am over him in sense of wanting to be with him, because I actually don't want to be with him. I don't talk to him a lot either; probably once a month, simple small talk. I'm glad to say that getting away from him did make me a better person because the way he was, was bringing me down but I can gladly separate myself from that now. I guess I'm just afraid for him, I mean I'm always going to care about him. Like I said, I really think I'm the only sane person he knows...he needs a reality check big time and maybe hitting rock bottom will do it for him.


I feel so helpless when it comes to dating actually..lol. I really don't know how to anymore, I guess I kind of fcuked up the last relationship I had with the guy that left because he's still not talking to me and it's been a week now. asdkljdsfdfie

[Bo]

urghh I guess i'm just sympathetic when I shouldn't be. Typical me...I care wayyy too much about ppl.

are you offering to help me? lol.

[Illusional]

all i've got to say is, f*ck the past and live for the future.

am "I" the only sane one now?? i don't bother with my ex's dramas.

raverboy

[tooxshort]

No need to bend over backwards for your past ... You don't have any obligations to him ... Maybe you need to get over it a little bit too.

[Bo]

yeah you guys are right, I shouldn't give a shit about him after what he did to me.

[Yggdrasil]

Bo, you have to come first in your life.

As with your last b/f. Sigh, I dunno.

You seem like a good person, but like many, you seem to be looking for love in the wrong places.

Why don't you give yourself some time for yourself and look deep inside yourself and find Bo? I mean, the real Bo.

There is some truth to the line: you can't have a happy relation unless you are happy as a single individual.

To many people out there are trying to fill up an emotional void with someone else or make their happiness depend on being with someone. True happiness comes from the inside.

Look deep inside yourself and learn to love yourself, as you are. You're worth it.

[Bo]

Bo, you have to come first in your life.

As with your last b/f. Sigh, I dunno.

You seem like a good person, but like many, you seem to be looking for love in the wrong places.

Why don't you give yourself some time for yourself and look deep inside yourself and find Bo? I mean, the real Bo.

There is some truth to the line: you can't have a happy relation unless you are happy as a single individual.

To many people out there are trying to fill up an emotional void with someone else or make their happiness depend on being with someone. True happiness comes from the inside.

Look deep inside yourself and learn to love yourself, as you are. You're worth it.

ya I realized this actually, not to be mistakin though this guy is not my last ex bf; we broke up months and months ago. (He was my first serious relationship, my high school sweetheart..i started dating him at the end of my freshman year and ended up splitting after i've had enough of his shit after about 3 years)

That's when I started seeing my last ex who I met at my local college in my class. And now he's off to a university over 6 hours away...and he's pissed off at me so we haven't talked in about a week

[Yggdrasil]

And now he's off to a university over 6 hours away...and he's pissed off at me so we haven't talked in about a week

He's an idiot. Hence, they're both idiots.

[Bo]

It's sort of my fault though I'm seriously a hopeless romantic and it doesn't happen often when I find I a guy I really dig but when I do, I get all wrapped up in it...which is very bad...

[Yggdrasil]

It's sort of my fault though I'm seriously a hopeless romantic and it doesn't happen often when I find I a guy I really dig but when I do, I get all wrapped up in it...which is very bad...

Yeah but it's not your fault they are abusing that.

[Bo]

Yeah but it's not your fault they are abusing that.

But then again, I let them...

[IndiReloaded]

Bo, many people want to 'fix' other people's problems b/c its a distraction from addressing their own. Check your dark spaces on that.

When your own backyard is completely free of shit, THEN focus on helping others. Tho, I generally find its best to spend your energy helping those with *potential*. There is no %age in spending your own energy on a black hole (never comes back--to anyone).

Understand?