FINALLY over between me and her...or is it? Confused!

[Superdude87]

Me and my (now) ex-gf have been dating almost 7 months and things were amazing up until now. After a shaky on/off again relationship with her ex, we met 3 months after they broke it off for good. About a month ago she began talking with her ex more and more via text, and one night she lied about going out with friends to go see him. I found out, confronted her, she said that she still had feelings for him that weren't going away. I tried to forgive and forget and move on, but she seemed to become distant and unsure of what she wanted. Finally, I found out that she physically cheated on me that night and I ended it. Within a few days we were talking again, and she called her ex to tell him that NO they were not going to get back together (he had been attempting to get her back this whole time).

She still seemed unsure of what she wanted, and continued to talk to her after this had happened, so I told her for the final time that we were done and I couldn't talk to her. I still loved her, but she needed time to figure her life out and I would be willing to work things out, but obviously right now isn't the right time. That was a week ago.

Today she texts me to see how I was doing and to come pick up a few things of hers that were still at my place. Little chit chat, and I found out that her and her ex were "talking" (aka: getting back together, I'm sure). She said that a part of her heart has been with him for the 4 years they've known each other and that she can't seem to NOT give it one last shot to see if she can be happy and they can work.

This was a huge slap in the face and definitely heart wrenching. I should hate her guts. I want to be mad and hate her, I really do, but I can't...even after everything she's put me through and the pain she's made me feel. Is this normal? I still love her and I want to see a future with her, but I know that after this kind of betrayal and head games that should be the last thing on my mind.

I have a feeling that their little fling won't last long. He says he has changed and can be the man she needs in her life, and oddly enough now has many of the same qualities as me (my words, not his...but the "man" he is describing is pretty much me). Maybe it's wishful thinking but I see this all blowing up and come crashing down sooner than later, and she'll be running back. They probably broke up at least 3 or 4 times during the 3 years they dated. He has straight up told her that he could NEVER see himself marrying her, and has done many, many hurtful things to her, and even nearly cheated on her.

So what do I make of this situation? It's hard for me to totally turn off my heart, and I'm pretty sure she'll come running back. I love her to death and honestly could see myself marrying her...or at least I used to. I KNOW I'd have a hard time turning her away if she came running back. I'm going NC cold turkey today, and will ignore her texts/calls until she gets the picture but deep down I want her back. I really do.

Grrrrr. This is the hardest breakup I've ever gone through. So confusing!!

[s_b]

Leave this girl well alone for your sake before your self esteem is battered to a pulp. She's obviously far too engrossed in this drama/fantasy thing with her ex - your hunch is probably correct and at some point it'll all come crashing down.

Step out the picture, no contacting her and leave her to drown in her own wishy-washy ways. You've set your boundary (correctly), so stick to it now (the difficult part). Good luck.

[LoveFish]

I'd let her go for now. Don't contact her and just do your own thing. If you love her then let her figure things out on her own without being in her face or raising the issue.

[aston]

i felt like that b4 was mad bout a girl but kept doing da samething as ur ex, its tough and never taught id been sayin this but ive never been happier on my own been single enjoyin myself! u no the sayin "theres plenty more fish in the sea" its true there plenty of great girls out there so move on man u'll meet some1 who doesnt treat u like a door mat!! my ex txt me a week ago sayin she misses me didnt bother txtin back my lifes better without her and urs will be as well if u move on believe me

[Gigabitch]

She cheated and dicked you around. What more evidence do you need that she's a bad girl?

[huanic]

So what do I make of this situation? It's hard for me to totally turn off my heart, and I'm pretty sure she'll come running back. I love her to death and honestly could see myself marrying her...or at least I used to. I KNOW I'd have a hard time turning her away if she came running back. I'm going NC cold turkey today, and will ignore her texts/calls until she gets the picture but deep down I want her back. I really do.