question about a pregnant woman

**IndiReloaded** · 10-07-09, 03:43 AM

Well, all I can say is think very hard about bringing a child into the world if either of you aren't certain you want one. VERY hard. Also if you aren't certain about the future of your relationship with this woman. A healthy child deserves a *stable*, nuturing life. Its not like a pet you can give away in a few years.

There are enough poorly-raised, unwanted kids on this earth. Only bring one into the world if you have LOTS to offer (both of you, this post is as much for her as you). Tho not all will agree with me, you do have choices. Quality of life is much more important than quantity. We got lots of quantity on the planet these days.

Think very hard, and make your choice based on what is best for the child. Not what either of you want.

**john8424** · 10-07-09, 03:47 AM

well i want one and i know she does as well. as for me and her do you think at all that space and time will help us get back together? or if she will even miss me?

**IndiReloaded** · 10-07-09, 03:53 AM

Make your plan. Assume you are going to be together. If you want this child, this is the only reasonable route. Failure is not an option. If she is determined to go it alone, I would push for an abortion. Or I would make sure *I* was guaranteed custody b/c its clear she is being irresponsible having a child as a single parent from the get-go.

Is she independently wealthy, by chance? If not, she's crazy.

**john8424** · 10-07-09, 04:20 AM

well her mother is supposed to come into money, alot of it. by the time the baby is born i am sure they will have it so money is no issue there. the reason i think at times she wont have it is becasue she wants to go to college and she cant leave the baby with her mom bec of cancer and her 15 yo sister. i am willing to take the baby if needed i can support it plus my parents would help no matter what. so i know either way the baby would be fine if she had it. IF she does have it. but my concern at the moment is me and my ex. after everything she said to me and how quickly she left it makes me think hormones. but at times she said she cant deal with the lies yet they werent lies.. so idk what she thinks. i do really want her back in my life and to be together. i just dont know how to go about doing it. she wont reply to texts and my calls. this is day 2 of no contact so im not expecting miracles right now. i just wonder if she misses me or if she even will want to be with me if i give her space and time.

**john8424** · 10-07-09, 06:12 AM

i guess i am just wondering that with space she will miss me or want me back

she means everything to me and shes carrying my child

**john8424** · 10-07-09, 06:31 AM

def could use some advice

**IndiReloaded** · 10-07-09, 06:47 AM

She will contact you. Meantime, THINK about what you want for the future. Make that plan (did I say this already)?

FWIW, you should keep a record of everything she sends/texts you. As well as your attempts to contact her. Just in case it ever gets to a custody battle, you want to be able to demonstrate your character. Or hers. These cases, its not about who is right (esp if you are a guy--sorry), but who can argue the better case.

When she contacts you, I would suggest visiting a counsellor together or taking a premarriage course. You two needs communication skills. Do this now, not later when you are exhausted by a new baby.

Gooooood luck. Really, you will all need it.

**john8424** · 10-07-09, 07:02 AM

so your thinking with space she will contact me? even for some reason her thinking im a liar like that?

**john8424** · 10-07-09, 07:35 AM

i just hope she comes around and talks to me again and wants to give us another chance

any women want to tell me if space and no contact would work? and if its hormone related?

**IndiReloaded** · 10-07-09, 07:39 AM

She will contact you. Relax. How can she not? Isn't she carrying your baby?

Wait a couple days. If you haven't heard from her by then, call.

How long did you say you've been together again? And how old are you both? Yes, it DOES matter. Advice will be different for a college grad mid/late 20s w/a good job lined up than for kids barely out of high school.

**john8424** · 10-07-09, 08:00 AM

well today has been 2 days idk how long to wait i been told 3 weeks or 1 week, we been together for about 1 year, it is def 110% my child, shes 22 im 25 yeah young but we actually had things planned wedding everything. im ex military. guess im just worried that she wont talk to me anymore

**john8424** · 10-07-09, 08:17 AM

esp since we got engaged we were happy, yeah we had our fights but who doesnt. she said well be together forever of course i said we will as well but who knows of the future.. she loved me alot than the same day she said i love you were still staying together.. 3 hours later i got the text saying i been thinking and i dont think its going to work and its over.. hormones?? she went from loving to bye in less than a day

**john8424** · 10-07-09, 10:01 AM

i dont want to loose her

esp to someone else. i know she wont date for a while esp being pregnant, and her mom dying. she wanted to be around her more so i know i have time. i just hope to get her back. please do help. could use anything right about now. some good hope.

**Junket** · 10-07-09, 10:27 AM

I'm sorry you got such a mind case pregnant.

**john8424** · 10-07-09, 08:06 PM

anyoneh ave any advice that we might actually get back together with time? or anything at all?

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