Just a phone sex partner? so where do i stand in your heart?

[Charlie Boy II]

ha! Talib Kweli! Props to you Petit.

[carl1222]

And by the way, pettit, i do admit i have a selective memory. Its like i tend to think of him as the same person who used to message me everyday years ago, and i just delude myself when i know that he has changed. Like you said, dream of his better version, what we could do together, its like this whole relationship is a dream... I tried to think of the times when he made me feel so rejected or when he made me wait the entire night for his call/ sms. But somehow, i will still tend to think of what he used to be like... i really need to wake up.for real.

The fantasies will kill you, Hope ... you are now in love ... not with a real man, but a man who doesn't exist!

How much time do you spend running these fantasies through your mind?

Carl.

[Hope]

Carl, to be honest with you i spend quite a lot of time thinking of what he would be like if we met. I sort of base it on how he appears to be on the phone, and what i see on his facebook or friendster accounts. I used to read his blog every now and then, and from there i thought that i totally knew what he's like. But when i think of him i think of what he's like when he messages me or when he talks to me on the phone. I know i sound like im trying so hard to convince myself that im in love with the real guy, and maybe i am. But i really believe that he's who he portrays himself to be. These days i try so hard not to have any fantasies of him, and just to accept the fact that he's in love with someone else, and the fact that he already has that someone by his side. Its just that i got too used to having him around all these years that i am resistant to changes. But i know that sooner or later i'll have to completely give him up. Its just that deep inside me, theres this little part that's still hoping he'll come back some day.

p.s : im disappointed with myself too carl. i should be stronger than this..

[Hope]

Another update guys. This is totally ridiculous, i have been naively thinking that he has got a new gf, but apparently i found out somehow that he was with the girl for the past year or two years. So all this while he was attached when we were having this stupid online rship and oh yah, the phone sex. Although i feel shocked and kind of disappointed at this fact, this made me realise something : Im way better than this guy. Although i always thought i was ugly and i didnt deserve him, im confident that i would never do this when i already have a loved one by my side. So although my heart is still broken, im already feeling a lot better about myself.

[Hope]

p.s.: Carl, i dont think im ugly anymore

[wendy_2008]

sending a fake photo is your fault. but it's not the reason why he's becoming distant. he changed.

[Raze]

phone sex?
uv got to be kidding me..

What the **** is phone sex? Is a cock coming out of the phone?