i've lost "the one" please help

[alx312]

Hi i'm new to this but would appreciate any advice.

I met my ex nearly three years ago and we clicked straight away but it took me 9 months to ask her out. We had been together just over two yeras when she told me it was over. things had been hard since i had to take a part time job to make ends meat at the start of february and we didnt see that much of each other but when we did i'd do anything to make her happy. she said that it wasn't me but she had drifted away cos i wasn't there. she has said she still cares but doesn't want to go out with me right now. her best friend was sad to see us split and has said she thinks time apart will make her see what she's lost.

what can i do if anything in the meantime to try and get her back.

many thanks

alex

[Raze]

Well, I don't think she's the one if she doesn't want to go out with you. How about you go fishing again and see if you can catch a bigger fish that will fill you up better? There is no ONE unless you're talking about the chosen one who is going to save us from extinction or the movie called "The One" starring Jet Li or the One as in Jesus Christ. There is no single person who is destined to be with you. I believe that things happen as the result of our choices. No predetermination or anything. No fate. Just choice.

I think these are your choices:

A) You keep trying to get her back and remain miserable.

B) Move on and find a better fish.

Best of luck!

[ShyGuy81]

You are in a very similar situation to myself at the moment, it is not easy and I sympathise with you.

One thing I am learning (slowly) is that there is nothing you can do to get her back. If she isn't feeling it because (as I did) things happened and you ended up trying to please her and she has told you it's not you then if you get back with her now and keep trying to get her back if you do end up together you will just fall back into again.

I did this a few months ago when we were having problems, we said that we would work and make things better but it never happened and six months on we have parted and everything is in limbo.

Her friend may be right, the time apart may make her see what she has lost but at the same time if you inadvertently pushed her away until you get yourself sorted you will not be the same person she fell in love with before.

Take this time to work on yourself, if she has ended it then take it that she has gone and don't close your eyes to the world. Go out and have fun and you may very well meet somebody new.

Lee

[Graham Berkeley]

You can't loose "The one" so if she is really gone she isn't "the one".