Issues with GFs past drug use

[answersearcher]

I need help, advice, something.

I am 26 years old and have had numerous girlfriends in the past. About 6 months ago I started dating my current girlfriend and as corny as it is to say, I feel like she is the first woman I have really loved. I say this because I feel so differently about her in so many ways.

Our relationship is more tremendous than anything I could have ever imagined but it is suffering one major issue, I have a really hard time with the fact she has done multiple drugs from high school through grad school. I have never been for drug use and realize my very light experimentation in high school is less than the average person these days. I have friends that do drugs and I could really care less about what others do. However, it really weighs on me what my girlfriend has done. It has bothers me to the point where the thoughts and almost tormenting my mind at times and sometimes I lose sleep. In turn I have gotten angry at her about what she has done and gotten into fights because of it. Honestly, this all seems so silly as I type it but I can just not help how it makes me feel at the time and honestly it at times is impossible to stop thinking about for me.

I can’t fathom that I can be disgusted so much about a certain aspect of someone that I truly feel I love. But, that seems to be the case and no woman has ever made me so happy, so to see something that has to potential of being so wonderful being destroyed because of this is very hard to live through. I guess the reason I decided to come here is to try and find out, is this something that will eventually bring the relationship to a demise? Should I just end it now to save more pain for the two of us? If not, how can I deal with it?

Some other details if interested: She said she made a decision to never do drugs again two months before we met. She says the reason is that with one semester of grad school left she realized she was becoming an adult and needed to stop doing it. She says at the time she was just the type to want to experiment and wanted to many times escape reality as she says she was very unhappy with her life.

[Cbrider]

So she is clean and not doing drugs of any type, but you're still hung up on the past?

You weren't even with her when she was using, get a grip.

[answersearcher]

So she is clean and not doing drugs of any type, but you're still hung up on the past?

You weren't even with her when she was using, get a grip.

Ha. I hear ya and wish it was that easy.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I don't understand what you expect to gain from coming here. Are you going to break up with her because she has done drugs before? I don't know what you're having trouble with, she did it, she told you about it, it's in the past. Love her or leave her alone, it really is that simple.

[vashti]

do you believe she is clean now? have you seen her deal with uncomfortable emotions without using substances to numb her?

[s_b]

I agree with the above - emotions, stress situations, feeling down etc. - just double check...

[answersearcher]

I don't understand what you expect to gain from coming here. Are you going to break up with her because she has done drugs before? I don't know what you're having trouble with, she did it, she told you about it, it's in the past. Love her or leave her alone, it really is that simple.

I guess its hard to understand the feelings that I have about it. I have negative feelings that really bother me and I cant shake at times. I know this is rediculous and I want to shake them. That's why I am here, searching for answers.

[answersearcher]

do you believe she is clean now? have you seen her deal with uncomfortable emotions without using substances to numb her?

Yes. My problem isn't that I think it'll start again. I wouldn't like that but its not really what I am worried about. I am just bothered by the fact of what she has done, as stupid as that may sound.

[IndiReloaded]

Is it a deal breaker for you or not? I would find a smoker revolting. But, if it was someone who *used* to smoke, but quit, I might have a different opinion.

What is your problem with it, exactly? Are you worried she might have cooties? Just get tested in that case.

[answersearcher]

Is it a deal breaker for you or not? I would find a smoker revolting. But, if it was someone who *used* to smoke, but quit, I might have a different opinion.

What is your problem with it, exactly? Are you worried she might have cooties? Just get tested in that case.

Ha. Not scared of cooties. I just view it as so low class and dirty to be honest. So, the thoughts bother me that I am dating that type of girl. But that aside she is wonderful and treats me great. So I dont want to think these negative things.

[IndiReloaded]

I bet she farts and burps and poops out her backside on occasion.

Low class is a very ambiguous term. I generally associate it w/people lacking in self-control. Is that how you see her, still? Some of the nicest, well-adjusted people I know are those who worked out their demons early in life. They actually had enough hutzpah to live a bit, learn some lessons and then grow up.

I also know some very repressed people who might seem 'high class' but that's only b/c they never had the balls to get out and live a bit.

When looking at these things, look at motives. Why did she do what she did, what did she learn and why did she decide to stop? This will tell you everything you need to know about her regarding this particular issue.