getting to know someone and sex >.<

[lostinconfusion]

I'm just so frustrated with this person i really need advice.

so i've been trying out online dating and i met this guy. now he is 32 an i'm a 20 year old virgin. on our first date i very casually slipped in that i am a virgin and that if he is looking for a quick lay he needs to move on, but he said he was totaly cool with it and that it didn't matter ,i was very surprised and pleased. now this guy is VERY good looking and actually would easily pass for a 25 year old, so i know he gets laid when he wants to.

on date two though he kept commenting on my looks and how amazingly hot i am and how he couldn't concentrate on what i was saying cause he always wanted to kiss me, it made me slightly uncomfortable but i decided to just go with the flow and we ended up making out.

now tonight i was talking to him online and he kept bringing up sex, and asked me questions which i answered, but as a joke i made a comment on how he is always htinking about sex. he got super defensive and tells me i'm weirdishly asexual, and have no sex drive and that this is the first time he ever met a girl who doesn't care about sex like me and said that normal ppl always talk about sex....

now can you guys please clear this up for me. is it normal to always want to talk about sex or is he just trying to guilt me or trick me into sleeping with him. it's not that i'm protective of my virginity i just want to go with the flow, slowly get close to someone enough to trust them and then whatever happens happens, i don't really wanna sit around discussing it. is that weird of me? i'm very confused.

[alter_ego]

This is how most guys go when they want sex. He'll probably just lose interest in you after sex, trust me. If he likes you, he wont talk about your physical appearance, he would talk to you about the qualities that he likes in you.

When I met my last GF, she told me that she didn't want to have sex. So since I liked her company so much, I accepted and to months later, she brought it up her self. The relationship lasted for many years.

Since you are a virgin, I would recommend you to tell him something similar. No-one should ever talk you into having sex. You'll just feel terrible afterwards.

[lostinconfusion]

and while you waited did you bring up sex in conversation and ask her "questions" , or totally avoided the subject for her comfort?

[azharmaulavi]

hey dear what's up wid u ha.....u r just 20 did u ever think what would happen if u end up sleeping wid him........that moment he's got what he wants and then u r nobody to him simple as that.......don't waste ur time in a person u don't know what if he's married has kids hav u really thought bout someone else whom u both r cheating.....if at all he has any family........think bout it dear....this is bad don't ever ever do that and fall for him.......it's just an online date u can't sacrifice ur life for that matter....plzz stay away frm him dear......

[dpope]

This is how most guys go when they want sex. He'll probably just lose interest in you after sex, trust me. If he likes you, he wont talk about your physical appearance, he would talk to you about the qualities that he likes in you.

Agreed. Don't waste your time with him.

[Cbrider]

He wants in your pants.

[vashti]

He is after sex. If he was interested in YOU, he would respect that you were uncomfortable. The fact that he said or implied that there was something wrong with you should be a HUGE red flag.

Get rid of him, sweety. And really, I don't know what dating site you are using, but be careful. There are a LOT of weirdos on the net, and they may even appear to be normal.

[lostinconfusion]

thanks for your answers guys. it's an ok site, i've met some nice guys on it before, but i'll stay in my age range next time. hell with this horny old bastard.

[girl68]

Just to hammer it in: you never once mentioned how much you like him, how great he is, how awesome your connection was... that leads me to believe it was not.

[alter_ego]

and while you waited did you bring up sex in conversation and ask her "questions" , or totally avoided the subject for her comfort?

I'm sorry for my late response, see I live in Sweden and there is considerable time difference.

As an answer to you question:

No I didn't. There were no other place that I would rather be than in her company and the more I got to know about her the more interesting she became to me. I was young (21 at the time) and she was my first GF so I didn't want to scare her of and I was a bit shy.

She was quite impressed that I respected her wish and that made her change her mind. So gradually she took the initiative to bring it to the next level.

One month into the relationship, she got under the blanket (in my bed) and took her clothes of and told me that it was ok for me to remove the blanket she had on top of her. It was an interesting experience for me, but we still didn't have sex. She wasn't ready for it.

About one month later she comes up to me and grabbed my hand and said something along the line "Follow me, I'm going to give you something" and led to my bed. That was the first time we had sex.

Even though the relationship ended about three years ago, I still appreciate these "events". My first time with her was special to me. I doubt that it would have as special if I would have "got it" the first week.