So I like this girl, Can I trust her?

[Hollywood_]

I just don't get why she can't admit that she just wants to be single, or why she can't tell me anything. Is she really that insecure or is she just being a player..

Yeah that's what I was thinking.. I really don't think she has been dating other guys or anything because I've made that clear that if she were to do that then I would be gone. If she has then she has been blatantly lying to me. Is that what you think is going on here?

[girl68]

I just don't get why she can't admit that she just wants to be single, or why she can't tell me anything. Is she really that insecure or is she just being a player..

I've made that clear that if she were to do that then I would be gone.

She doesn't want to admit it because if she does she's branded: slut, playgirl, party girl... whatever- such lables girls specifically are not fond of, and neither are the males that are interested in her... (ie you).

If she admits she enjoys other males attention and affection you're gone. This is exactly why she's giving you no answer at all.

Listen here (or read). When a girl is into you, she is into you. She stops seeing other men, she stops wanting to date other guys, she doesn't lead on other men, she will have no problem being exclusive to you, she will glad to become your girlfriend, she will not keep her feelings on the DL, she will not make excuse after excuse.

I don't understand you. I'm telling you straight up, if she liked you there would be no problem. Your serving cake on a platter to her, she's grabbing it and inhaling that cake, that other guys cake, and that other guys cake too.

[Hollywood_]

Thanks, well I'm gone then.

[girl68]

If you have the one last talk face to face, as requested by her.

Tell her what you want, and don't give in to her pushing to you accept the situation as is, insisting that you're getting everything you want. And do not be afraid to admit that yes, you do want to be her bf and she your gf. There is no shame in admitting that. Tell her that is what you want, and you are not willing to settle for this situation any longer.

[Hollywood_]

That does seem like the only option I have left. Right now I'm trying to figure out if she has been lying to me about being exclusive. I had told her at the 2mo mark when we were dating that if she wants to hook up with other guys thats cool but I'm gone. She said she understood that and wasn't seeing anyone else.

If she is a player I'm sure she is lying. Would you say its 99% that she is a player from everything I've told you?

[girl68]

I'm not sure she's screwing around with other guys, but I would be willing to bet she heavily flirts/ leads men on... (of course she could be doing so much more) but I think she's AT LEAST doing that.

Lay everything on the line. And do NOT let her talk her way out of this. If she mentions about you saying you didn't care about the label; tell her that you thought you didn't but come to think of it, that's exactly what you want. And then yes or no. Not well.. .blah blah blah... if there is anything other than yes, it means no.

Goodluck man. You seem like a sound guy. Some girl will be willing to give you everything you want when you find her.

[Hollywood_]

Thanks again, you really helped me out on this. I really appreciate it.

[girl68]

Do provide an update... I'd be curious how it turns out.

Goodluck.

[Hollywood_]

I'm actually leaving tomorrow morning to the east coast until monday. She wants to talk to me face to face when I get back, should I lay it on the line then or do you think it's better to do it now?

I want to tell it to her face to face but I also don't want to wait 5 days to have to do it.. ya know?

UPDATE:

I'm not sure she's screwing around with other guys, but I would be willing to bet she heavily flirts/ leads men on... (of course she could be doing so much more) but I think she's AT LEAST doing that.

Lay everything on the line. And do NOT let her talk her way out of this. If she mentions about you saying you didn't care about the label; tell her that you thought you didn't but come to think of it, that's exactly what you want. And then yes or no. Not well.. .blah blah blah... if there is anything other than yes, it means no.

Goodluck man. You seem like a sound guy. Some girl will be willing to give you everything you want when you find her.

Ok so I told her straight up that I thought she was only hanging out with me because she likes the attention I give her and that she isn't really that into me. She responded by telling me that she was in to me and that she missed me, and what not. Then I brought up the bf/gf thing.

Here is what she said.

"I like you and I like spending time with you but as far as having a full blown relationship with someone right now? I don't think I can. I like where were at right now but im not sure how were gonna end up yet.. good or bad, I dont know"

I asked her why she couldnt have a bf, she said there was more to it and that she wanted to talk to me face to face, as before. I honestly have no idea what this could be...Then I brought up being exclusive thing by saying

"I guess I'm just a fool for thinking that if you do care about me then you wouldnt mind being exclusive.. If we cant be then I cant keep seeing you.. thats just who I am with the people I do like"

Her: "babee just give me a chance to explain it before you start jumping to conclusions and making descisions. its not the being exclusive part that im hesitant about, like I said there's more to it."

So I guess that face to face talk with determine whether or not I get out while I can?

Uh yeah so I still don't know what is going on...

[ellie]

Listen, she is starting to have regrets as she's realizing she's about to loose you.
That's why she's trying to prolong this whole thing, because she's frantically searching her mind for a solution, trying to decide what to do.

In her head it goes like this: "He wants to be exclusive, but I don't! What do do? But I don't want to commit right now. It's not a good idea to commit right now. But I still like him! What to do, what to do?!"

I'd say; meet up with her and see what she has to say.

But do NOT change your standpoint. You've made it perfectly clear you want a relationship, don't change your mind about it. It will make you look weak. Don't let her jerk you around.
Listen to what she has to say, but listen to your heart.

You want someone who can commit, and unless she has something quite extraordinary to say, if she still says she can't commit but doesn't give any particular reason, you should stay away from her.

Stand your ground, fellah!!