Hi everybody! I'm new here and impressed already by the way the answers are being treated and answered. I just joined hoping that somebody could give me an advice. I know that this forums is "dumping talk" but its hard to say the way things are going for me and my girlfriend for six months.
A little background. I'm 23 years old turning 24 this coming December and my girlfriend who would be turning 29 this November. She already graduated and I'm still in college pursuing my degree. The other part is she lives an hour away from me and I only get to spend time with her during the weekends. She's ok with it but at the same time stressed because she gets lonely sometimes and I'm not there when she needs me. Although driving an hour each weekend is not really an issue for me. I told her that I try to visit her as much as I can.
The fact that she makes more money than me; she takes and buy food most of the time for both of us during the weekend when I visit. Although I also buy food and take her out as well when I have money. She told me that she was stressed about having to take care of me whenever I come and visit her. Part of it financially is that she also takes care of her mom and take her out as well. So money as far as I'm concern is the thing that stresses her out.
To make the long story short, we had a long argument last Friday on the phone about my career and when I'm going to finish college. I told her that money shouldn't be an issue. Part of it is that we have our differences in beliefs such as religion (she belives in Evolution) which is fine with me. I already told her long time ago that I'm open to both and if we ever have kids, I should let them decide which to believe in. She said that we have differences (age, beliefs, income) and its not a good thing. She's worried that it might be a problem later on. She's also worried about me being young (24) of thought that I might cheat on her later on (she has two ex-boyfriends cheated on her on the past). I told her yesterday or even before to trust me and not compare me with the other ones. It hurts that she's not giving me chance and its unfair for me.
So the day after our conversation when I'm about to visit her, she acted weird on the phone. I ask her if she wants me come out there (just making sure because we had an argument the night before). She told me that you don't sound like it although my backpack is ready so I can spend the weekend with her. I was ready even a week before because I haven't seen her for two weeks (she works Sundays once a month). So that forced me not to see her for two weeks. She told me that she's not ready to take care of me this weekend so she said that its not a good idea to visit her. I pretended that I wasn't going anyways but I drive an hour just to see her cause I missed her. I went to see her and she looks like she don't have energy and been laying in bed although she told me she isn't tired. She's just depressed. She said "she cares about me" but I noticed that she didn't say "I love you" anymore like she always do. I told her about that and she told me that "she wasn't sure" and she feels different. I guess the conversation that we had the other night affected her a lot and something that I said that struck her. She just said that she cares about me and if she would be with anybody right now, it would be me. I'm pretty sure that she's honest because I also asked her if she's seeing another guy which I believe.
I'm just stressed and depressed with these sudden change of her which she keeps saying, "I don't know". She said that she wants time to think about it and by herself. I repeatedly ask her if she loves me and she keeps saying the same thing. What hurts me the most is keep waiting for an answer from her whether she still loves me or not. I also wrote a 3-paged letter that I'll send tomorrow to her to let her know how I still love her and make her think about our good times. I love her to death and I feel like I'm going to throw up when I think of our times when she used to say "I love you" to me. We also talk on the phone twice a day ever since we started dating (six months ago). She would call me before she go to work and during her break...everyday.
She's the best thing that happened to me because I never loved anybody as deeply as I loved her. I feel that she's already part of me and we would spend the rest of our life together. The fact that I'm still in school and she would be old by the time I graduate (estimate around 33-34), I think she wants security. I don't know what to do right now cause I feel restless, depressed and I can't do anything. The hard part is I have school and I have a few tests coming up next week and also I have a paper due next month which makes it hard for me to swallow the situation. I drove home last night feeling I'm in the worst situation and I don't care if I die.
I think I might have missed details but I try to sum it up as little as I can so you guys can give me the best advice possible. Thanks for reading my post. We haven't break up yet but I want to know what should I do to get her back. I love her so much and we both cried and hugged before I left.
- Dennis