Meet Up With My Ex-GF Tmr, Need Advice (WOT)

[Pat123]

I'll give a small background so you guys can better assess my situation.

This girl and I have been dating for 2+ years, all through our Jr and Sr years of high school. We had been fighting a lot this past summer mostly because she was very busy. She had work or dance practice with the UC dance team which she had to drive back and fourth from 3-4 days a week along with working regularly.

We used to spend time together nearly everyday, but with her being so busy this summer I would only get to see her maybe 1 day a week on most weeks, or perhaps a night after she was tired from work/dance and we'd usually just sit around doing nothing. I didn't fault her for it at first because I loved her, and figured we'd stay close but I was very wrong.

This past month we had gotten into arguments, both small and large. We'd argue about our future going to the same college together. We'd argue about how we rarely saw each other. I tried to communicate that I was feeling distant and felt like I our relationship was suffering, but she told me to hang in there because she was very busy and it'd be better once we got to college.

THE BREAKUP ENSUES:

This past week I noticed she had begun to take every oppurunity we possibly had to be together, which was not alot, and ask if she could spend it with family/friends. I approached her and asked her why she was doing this when we made plans to see each other prior and also it was the only chance I would get to see her. She was telling me she wanted to see her friends/family before we went to go off to college, which I understood but she refused to let me see my friends much before they went away to college and that was a week when she made every effort to see me.

I called her up and was devastated because I felt like she had lost complete interest in our relationship. I was mad and felt like she didn't even care so I called her up and said let's break up. We had done this before, little break ups that resulted in getting back together the next day. I called her later that night after dance practice and apologized. She said she wanted to be honest and said she was having some reservations because she believes shes missing out on things, that she felt our spark had evaporated due to not seeing me much, and that honestly she had been "just going through the motions" during the past few weeks.

We been arguing via text and over the phone a lot. I've tried ignoring her, I've tried saying I'll give her space and time, I've tired it all. This girl who I'm so madly in love with will no longer commit to me. We've exchanged some heated conversation, and I've said some stupid stuff. But it's been tough for me to function these past few days.

I finally called her last night and talked her into meeting up with me tomorrow to talk this out. I need advice/strategy on what to say when I'm there with her to help win her back. Please HELP!!! I'm desperate.

[tonks]

I had similar situation.. same as yours with the "signs" of breaking up.
Avoided going out with me etc etc..

anyway, you can't "win" her back if her feelings aren't there anymore if you get what i'm saying.
But you can change her feelings, just be you.
The person who she liked to see all those Jr and Sr years. Try to connect with her.. you can't really have a strategy because you're not sure of which way it could go and what her questions/answers could be.

[Pat123]

I had similar situation.. same as yours with the "signs" of breaking up.
Avoided going out with me etc etc..

anyway, you can't "win" her back if her feelings aren't there anymore if you get what i'm saying.
But you can change her feelings, just be you.
The person who she liked to see all those Jr and Sr years. Try to connect with her.. you can't really have a strategy because you're not sure of which way it could go and what her questions/answers could be.

I just feel like she expected me to be there during times she considered tough for herself. With work, dance, and her being so busy she expected me to be understanding. I was understanding for a long time, but its one thing to be understanding and another to just simply sit back and let the relationship suffer.

I've sent her a lot of stupid texts, called and said a lot of stupid things, and just have pushed her further and further away the past few days. I'm afraid, because I fear this could be my last chance to save us. I just don't know if I should go and meet her and be honest and try and assess what we both want and see if we even should stay together or do something else. Her patience will definately be minimal with me.

[Love-advisor]

Just dont open up yourself hastily.Just proceed with caution, try to guess the mood of her and if it is conducive then express your opinion.

[Gigabitch]

She seems pretty far down the road to make her turn around now. I really think the only hope you have is to show her you can live without her. Be sweet, sure, and express interest in giving it another shot, but being Mr. Needy is clearly making her sick, so hold back on that. I would also leave Mr. Resentful and Mr. Devastated at home.

[Pat123]

We used to text back and fourth nearly the entire day. I know I should obviously cut down on a lot of communication, but I'm texting trying to start small talk and seeing if she letting her know I miss her but that I'm fine. We both leave for the University of Cincinnati on saturday, so we're both getting ready along with packing and stuff.

We're set to meet tomorrow to atleast talk. I miss her a lot and this has probably been the toughest thing I've dealt with in my life. Hopefully it works out in the end, but still I'm prepared if it doesn't at this point.

Keep the advice and thoughts coming. Thanks a lot guys.

[davidtorres]

I would just let it go. Usually if a girl wants it over then it is over. As much as it hurts if it doesnt work then just let it go and move on. I know its hard to do that but I went through the same shit. The best option is move on with your life. However, I wish you luck!

[Pat123]

I would just let it go. Usually if a girl wants it over then it is over. As much as it hurts if it doesnt work then just let it go and move on. I know its hard to do that but I went through the same shit. The best option is move on with your life. However, I wish you luck!

Yeah it seems like tomorrow will decide it. I'm nervous, but like I said I'm prepared (somewhat atleast) for either outcome. It's tough because you center your life and everything you do around a single person and then one day that changes. I honestly cannot stop thinking about her and everytime I do I feel sick to my stomach.

That's life I guess. Hopefully things turn out for the better no matter what the outcome.