Catching up with ex?

[loveminuszero]

My ex and I dated for two years and broke up over the past summer. I haven't talked to him in a couple months, but we tried being friends right after the break-up (before he started dating a friend of mine, who was dating one of his best friends for four years before they broke up, and two weeks later he started dating her...).

I'm glad that I can say that I'm over him and am not interested in being with him. It was more or less a typical situation to happen in someone's twenties: I grew up and he didn't, caused a lot of arguments and problems. I realize now that he is not the type of guy I want to be with and that our values were too different. I'm not bitter anymore and I hope he's happy.

It's weird because I don't really care to be friends with him because I'm a lot happier now without him in my life. If anything, I feel bad for him because his girlfriend sneaks around to hang out with her ex and even begged him to take her back. They're both rebounds for each other, really, but I think she means more to him than he does to her. I wouldn't say anything to him, of course, because it's not my place.

I'm thinking about contacting him to catch up, though. Bad idea? I feel weird about it because I don't care to be friends with him so it seems kind of pointless. However, I'm curious and my friends bring him up and gossip about him with me at least once a week, so I think about him (honestly, I'm tired of hearing stories about him). I'm nosy and can't help it, though. I know he's at least thought about me some because a few weeks ago he texted me saying that he wishes we could be friends (I politely declined) and then he wrote on my facebook after I said no (told him "no" at least three times before the FB deal, other than the random text).

Think it would be an OK idea to catch up? Sorry this post is so long.

[Chupacabras]

Sure doesn't sound like you're over him.

Yes, it's a bad idea.

[Bumble_bee]

I see no point in 'catching up' with him if

a) you have rejected friendship on 3 or more occassions
b) you are completely over him
c) if it is just to satisfy your own sense of smugness...


unless you still have feelings for him?

i

[loveminuszero]

I am over him as far as romantic feelings go. I think that a person will at least care about his/her ex, but that's different than having "feelings" for him/her. I care about him and his well-being, but that doesn't mean I want him or care to have him as a regular fixture in my life.

I agree, I said I don't want to be friends so it's weird. It's not to rub my happiness in his face or anything like that, I'm just curious about him. But given where I stand, catching up could be a bad idea. Since you guys interpretted it as my having feelings for him, he could think that way, too. Which would be bad.

[Cbrider]

Why?

Caring is one thing, but you can care from a distance.

Its over and done, you have admitted yourself you are over and done with him. Don't contact him, he doesn't need a guiding presence, he needs to grow under his own power.

I wonder sometimes too, but I am not willing to upset the balance I have achieved by investigating. Even though I know I am on perfectly solid ground and would have no problem standing my ground and sticking to my guns, I don't want to have their problems unloaded on me.

You get one shot in this stuff, don't miss.

[SEETO]

I reckon dont contact him... cause from what it sound like to me, he isnt over you... so best be nice and leave him be. Guys do stupid things when feelings are involved.