Sus or not?

[JAG]

Quick question...

If your partner constantly guards their phone and deletes every message they receive/send every time they get one, would you be sus? I mean, my situation is my wife takes her phone with her everywhere, even to the toilet with her, it never leaves her sight.

When she was in the shower, I found it hidden under a big pile of washing.

The few times I have looked at it, there are always 0 messages, when I know she never puts the damn thing down.

I know its bad to be going through your partners phone, but I just don't like being lied to. Why should there be anything to hide? Why delete them as soon as she gets them?

She obviously thinks that if she leaves it lying around, I'll look through it which is why she hides it. I've got nothing to hide, she can read every message I've got/sent for the past 6+ months if she wanted to.

Would you be sus that something was going on? Would you try and find out more?

[IndiReloaded]

Take her phone one day. By 'mistake'. Just put it in your bag one day and leave before she notices. Say you grabbed an extra shirt from the laundry and it must've been in there.

See what kinds of messages she gets. Don't be stupid and answer the phone when she calls it to try to find it tho. LOL.

[JAG]

No chance of that.. she sleeps with it under her pillow. She guards it 24/7 almost.

[Lava_twilight]

I'd be suspicious. Has she ever done anything questionable before or likewise? Have you ever done anything to loose any trust she had in you?

I'm a very distrustful kind of person, and this kind of guarding over her phone would drive me mad. I know, because my ex used to do it & later I discovered because he was texting other girls (what kind of underwear are you wearing) that kind of sh*t. Glad he's my ex now, but that's made me even more paranoid LOL xxx

[Charlie Boy II]

that's really, really suspect. And I'm not particularly suspicious, by nature.

[Lava_twilight]

Another thing. Ask her outright. Something like 'are you glued to that phone or something?' (not, are you hiding something?) cos then she will know you are on her case. I used to ask him that, & his reaction used to give away if he was being sly or not....!! Might work for you, did for me! haha xx

Also, on phones over here, if you go to send a message, most come up with the last lot of people that have been text...that's how I found out Even if there are no messages on the phone, it might list the last few recipients....just a thought (that's if you get near it again hehe)

[Bumble_bee]

ask her if you can use her fone for some reason, like you erased a mutual friend's number or something....see her reaction as you go for her fone....if she is jumpy then you know something is up....

[Lava_twilight]

ask her if you can use her fone for some reason, like you erased a mutual friend's number or something....see her reaction as you go for her fone....if she is jumpy then you know something is up....

Good call. Didn't think of that. I guess if she hovers and doesn't give it to you straight away, that could be the giveaway she's hiding something....xx

[misombra]

your wife is talking to another man, and she doesn't want you to know about it.

[Gigabitch]

Do you have separate phone plans? If this were happening at my house, I'd get onto my Verizon account online and see if there were piles of messages from a particular number, then do what I could to find out who had that number.

[Primo]

It's VERY suspect behavior JAG. GB laid out the best options imo for finding out what's going on at this point. If you're on the same account all companies can provide you with detailed incoming/outgoing numbers.

If she carries around a prepaid and guards it like that, then all I can say is I feel for ya.

[MVPlaya]

No chance of that.. she sleeps with it under her pillow. She guards it 24/7 almost.

Deeply disturbing. She's making herself a huge target for suspicion. I'm never the jealous type, but if I were married and my wife acted like that, I'd definitely snoop on her for a month or so until my suspicions were confirmed / denied. Do you have any other indications that your wife is unfaithful beyond her texting / phone behavior? Is she more distant? Suddenly started working out again? Just things that indicate to you that she's gearing up for a single life or is attracted to someone else?

Hows her social life? Do you both share a social life?


With how guarded your wife is, Indi's suggestion wouldn't help you one bit. You cannot accidentally swipe her phone or try to trick her into giving it to you, since she is 100% on her guard about giving you the phone in the first place. You need to access her data without her knowing it was you if you really want to know whats on there, and that is just a bad line to cross, but you just might need to sometimes.

[TruLuv]

Sus for sure, but maybe she's a private person, or vents about u to friends and doesn't want you to see. Ask her about it straight up imo and gauge her reaction.

[JAG]

In the past, I have found out things that she doesn't know about. We broke up for a while ages ago, when we got back together I asked if she had been with anyone and she flat out denied it. Yet I knew she had been cause I found chat logs on her computer between her and another guy talking about sex and how it was for each other. He was just here on holidays from overseas, she thought that things were going places but all he wanted was a root and shut her down. Which is why she came back to me.

So I know she is capable of lying, I've caught her out a few times and she always sticks to the lie. Maybe I was stupid for taking her back after that one but it was probably 3 years ago now. But what makes me untrusting is that I know for a fact she is capable of lying and not even blinking an eye about it.

One other time I saw messages on MSN from a guy saying that he could really use a kiss, but apparently.. that was supposed to go to a different person on MSN. Yeah right..

Maybe I can get online and check the bill to see who she has been texting. She's wise to the call and message logs and clears that out too because I caught her once before texting a guy and telling me she was going out to see a girlfriend.

I don't want our marriage to end but I don't deserve to be lied to. I think if I get to the bottom of it this will be the last straw.

[Primo]

At least you know she's a terrible liar. Find out everything you can and confront her with it, that's a good starting point.