Friend Brings Her Kids Everywhere!

[CocoChanel]

Some of my coworkers and friends are planning to go to dinner and billiards tomorrow night. Nobody wanted to ask Michaeline because she always brings her kids. So after thinking about it for a while we decide to ask her anyway and just ask her not to bring her kids. So I asked her yesterday and she said okay cool she'll be there. She didn't bring up the kids like she normally does so no one else brought it up either.

Today, she brings up the dinner & billiards. She asked when were we going and I said around 8. She said damn my boys are gonna be too sleepy to go by then but oh well. So I said to her well Michaeline we kind of wanted adults only so leave them with Bray (her husband). She got offended and stormed off.

So now her feelings are hurt but... I really didn't mean to hurt them. How do i talk to her about this without her being so defensive? I mean she brings her kids everywhere!! Plus they are bad as hell.

[CocoChanel]

Oh and if you can give me some feedback by 3am EST
I have to be to work at 4am so I want to know what I should do before I leave.
I can check the forum from work if I have time but not always.

[Junket]

F*ck her feelings.

She needs to man up.

[Mish]

It's a tricky situation. You don't want to alienate your friend, but you also don't want to put up with the chaos her kids cause. Sounds like you need to have a face to face talk to her and explain the issue. Though, you'll have to prepare for possibility that you will lose a friend if she is too sensitive.

[CocoChanel]

I know right. I've tried to throw hints... but she never catches them. It's really pisses us off because she makes comments like, "Sorry but only I can control my kids Bray is no good at it." But if she calls that control she needs to watch Supernanny hardcore. She acts as if she is the better parent and won't let Bray do anything for her.

We are planning some trips next year during the spring. We're going to New Orleans... she wants to bring her kids there too!! And New Years we might go to Vegas... she wants to bring her kids there too. It's just a damn nuissance and I want to tell her so bad!

[Junket]

You can just stop inviting her until she takes the hint. Sorry, but when a person becomes a parent, they need to adjust their lifestyle to accommodate that, not force their single friends to.

Oh, and if you're in New Orleans before May, let me know.

[Illusional]

tell her straight up and don't beat around the bush. when it comes to my friends, nice or not, i'm honest. that's what being a good friend is about.

raverboy

[Cbrider]

Lets tackle the first and most glaring issue here. Who the **** names their kid Bray?

[vashti]

What kind of a mother takes her young children to a billiards hall? Sounds like Jerry Springer material...

[Aeradalia]

Does she have any friends who
have kids as well? If she did, then she could bring her kids with her on group functions -- and those 'get togethers' would be tailored and beneficial for the children.

However, I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't have any friends who had kids, as they would be quick to point out her failures as a parent.

[MVPlaya]

I don't see whats confusing about it:

You have times when its friends only, times when its couples only, time when you bring the kids and the whole family, times when its just a small circle, times when its just adults going out.

Schedule a time to hang out that she can bring her kids and do parenty stuff, then make it clear another night that its adults only.

If you don't want to broach the topic, just invite her out to a bar, or a bar and then bowling. She should get the hint.

[CocoChanel]

Michaeline we kind of wanted adults only so leave them with Bray (her husband).

Bray is her husband's name. Well short for his first name.

We have done things where we didn't mind her bringing the kids.If we go to the Smithsonian area, the times we go to the ESPN Zone. A lot the people we hang out with have children but they don't bring them everywhere. If she could bring them to the club she would!! But you guys are right... I'm just going to pull her aside and just be blunt with her without being mean.

Oh and... I woke up late for work. :x

[CocoChanel]

I don't see whats confusing about it:

You have times when its friends only, times when its couples only, time when you bring the kids and the whole family, times when its just a small circle, times when its just adults going out.

Schedule a time to hang out that she can bring her kids and do parenty stuff, then make it clear another night that its adults only.

If you don't want to broach the topic, just invite her out to a bar, or a bar and then bowling. She should get the hint.

Well no one said it was confusing. Question was How do I talk to her about it because she is a sensitive ass person. :/

[Illusional]

What kind of a mother takes her young children to a billiards hall? Sounds like Jerry Springer material...

haha honestly i would bring my child in their stroller to the pool hall... it just depends on which ones. the cleaner ones down here in hawaii aren't really that bad other than they might play occasional loud music.

raverboy

[CocoChanel]

Omg. No kid should be a pool hall.

But this is a restaurant and then upstairs is the brewery and pool hall.
It's downtown, on the upscale tip. Lots of men in suits *drool* getting off work... hot... sexy... men... omg! I gotta make sure I bring some extra clothes to work so I can catch one!! Wish me luck damn it.

But still.. she has 3 boys. twin 7 year old's and a 5 year old.