Long distance relationship SEX Problems..

[iamadreamer]

Hi.I met the "man of my dreams" in 2003...dated for over 3 years until he had to move to another country for work.we decided to stay together and so we still are...long distance is not easy at all but I decided to stay with him because my feelings are really deep and strong and I want to build something important in the future. I am actually ready for the next level but he is no yet..im still hanging there.
the problem I am asking you advice for is the sexual/intimate part of our life. I had my real first experiences with Him...some initial "tough times" but then it was always beautiful.. i am devotedly faithful..I don't even think about it as a sacrifice bc HE is the one and all that I want and it does not bother me to not have sex for months. the problem though is that it is not that easy for me to get back to "routine" when it comes to sex. After months of abstinence I am always physically blocked..not 100%ready and sometimes "fight" him WITHOUT MY WILLING..i do not do it on purpose bc actually i am ALWAYS excited and nervous to meet up with him..he turns me on all the time even just his voice..but then..there in bed at the beginning i need A LOT OF foreplay and patience...he is patient and sweet but he also admitted that he get frustrated to tell me always what to do, how and so on. i am so sad..and discouraged..i try mybest to relax myself and be ready and when i am on this state everything is beautiful..but i keep wondering if he likes it etc..this is getting me to insecurity..which is not good bc i already have SO MANY doubts about this relationship and his feelings that intimacy should just be nice and spontaneous. I get insecure bc I know he might meet some great experienced hot woman who could satisfy him more than me ... I know he had an affair last year with a girl who he felt absolutely great with .. bc nothing was about commitment.. I forgave him bc he swore he would do it no more and I believed him but now i am really scared bc i see him less into me.I Talk to him about it but i see that he sometimes gets "tired" of it and lately said "we are not sexually synced"... and he does not believe the fact that LONG DISTANCE makes it hard on sex....it needs frequency and constant intimacy...and so here i am asking you..am i right or wrong? Why are we so far? this upsets me the most...he does not want to move to the next level or even ask me to go live with him...i would do it! i have my own life, great job, college, friends and family but i would quit Everything in a blink just to be with him..and i am sure that being closer as we used to be would make EVERY side of our life just better. i love him and i jst need contact, touch, daily life with him... ;(
ANY ADVICE? SUGGESTIONS? Please I really need it..thanks to all.

[Gigabitch]

Intimacy isn't spontaneous, though. It is something that has to be maintained. Even though your heart is with him, your body isn't and you're leading a completely celibate life most of the time.

To me, you don't even sound like you're really ready for sex yet.

[iamadreamer]

To me, you don't even sound like you're really ready for sex yet.[/QUOTE]

thanks for replying But I don't understand..what do you mean by that?
We have sexual activity...can you please explain better?
thanks

[Gigabitch]

I think you freeze up a bit much even for someone who has been out of commission for a while. It's like you're a virgin every time, right?

[iamadreamer]

yes it is exactly how it seems like...but after a little bit everything goes back to normal...

[girl68]

In my experience not being sexually compatible will eventually destroy a relationship. The fact he thinks this compounded by your insecurities is a very bad, bad sign IMO.

[happyhippo85]

but seriouslly i always find " sexually not compatible" like an easy excuse for a way out.. imho.. all relationships if serious can be nutured together