I dont know what I want in this life

[lightning]

Ok I have this and this problem and might sound a shallow but to me its very severe and I'm losing alot of things out of it.

Let me tell you my story even if that will be long somehow
I'm 24 now, I was very determind hard working girls I've graduated from college with high scores and worked as a freelancer for a while, mean while I got to know my ex online and we had a wonderful wonderful relationship of four years he kept promising to come over to where I live but money issues always delayed it.
With him I was myself, he was the only one who could read me very well, he knows how to handle my anger, my depression, and with him I was everything I am proud of

Mean while I got a job as a web developer and I was really happy , my relationship with my boyfriend was getting better but through this year my heart was wearing out of my relationship with him. I'm too busy with work, we've never met and I seriously lost my way because no one on earth treat me like him and yet I'm completely out of love with him MAYBE because we never met OR maybe because the feeling just lost its magic ..

its so complex because I cant live without him yet I dont love him. We broke up..I got several crushes and they all was a complete failure..I still have his shadow following me, and I still compare him to every guy I meet and think all guys are stupid but him.

I reached the point I'm completely clueless, I'm not happy with my work yet I get good pay so I'm there. I'm not happy with my life..I'm not happy with anything at all..I dont know where I'm heading or what I want to be or with whom I want to be..I always fall for the completely wrong guys ..and my ex still wants me and he said he will come over if I changed my mind..and you know he is handsom, and all that so I dont know why I dont feel the magic when we talk..and he keeps saying "Love isnt about butterflies and glitters" and I know that but also I do love those things..

I told him I dont know what I want and I heard my coworker friend saying "You are very complex, you should know what you want in this life" and you know I lost lots of friends with my confusion

I lost intrest in everything and I'm sick and tired of being such useless person that doesnt know what she wants..

What is your suggestion?

[Mish]

Suggestion is to find out what you want. You are not a child anymore, take some responsibility for your life, your decisions and your actions. If you are making wrong decisions, there's no one else to blame for that, but you.

If you don't find out what you want other people will find it for you and force you to live with it.

[IndiReloaded]

Happiness comes and goes, tho tends to stick around longer when we are accomplishing a goal.

What goals do you have? Personal, professional? Figure that out, find people who you find inspiring (never stick around people who drag you down), and you are on your way.