***Long Read, Please bear with me***
Im gonna try to be as complete with my story as possible ok. First of all my gf and I are seperated by about 200 miles, really not that far but, we consider it a LDR. As of next friday, I'll be moving to her city....finally after a 3 month LDR. Originally we lived about 20 minutes apart and saw each other everyday and spent most of our time together. We jus celebrated our 1 year anniversary in september. When she moved away......we missed each other soo soo soo much and it hurt so bad. As everyday passed by I we made a uge effort not to grow apart. The only communication we had in the LDR was phone calls/text messages. For a while that was working just fine. Then all of a sudden she "wasnt recieving my calls." She says they didnt get thru to her, even though it would ring all the way to voicemail which i found hard to believe. She also wouldnt respond to my texts a lot of the time or in a timely manner. Now I do realize people get busy and what not, but how busy could you be? She has a job and is taking 2 college courses. Thats no busier than she was when we first met. I told her how I felt because it seemed that we were growing apart then and she blew me off kinda....like i was over reacting. This continued and I eventually blew up one night when she wouldnt answer the phone. I gave this girl aa place to stay before she moved away from me when she had nowhere to go, I was her ROCK when she had nothing solid to lean on, not even her parents. Even though it's not good for me, I put her before myself at times. I get angry when I come to visit her some weekends (2.5 days) and she dosnt give me much attention. Like shes more concerned with her friends and what not. I get like maybe 6 days outta the month with her and I still cant get her full attention, it frustrated me! I've told her all of this. 2 Nights ago, we got into a argument and she told me she hasnt changed, but.......she also says she doesnt know what she wants...............when we started dating, she knew what she wanted. She basically wants to hang out a few time a week now, 2-3 maybe. This is not how it used to be. Everything has changed. We didnt even speak on the phone yesterday, and I'm in her city RIGHT NOW. I'm always the one that has to call or text, maybe not ALWAYS, but most of the time. I feel like I'm putting in soooo much and not getting back. Now I'm moving here in less than a week and she doesnt know what she wants. I know I'm not perfect and I've messed up, but I've put forth so much into this relationship it makes me wanna puke if I think about not being with her.
FYI
Im 24, she's 21
This is my 1st love
This is her healthiest relationship ever according to her
I love here more than I could explain
We lived together for 2 moths before she moved away
We have always been very much attached to each other...until now
Can somone please give me some advice? I need help, I feel like I'm about to explode! Some days Im happy, right now, I feel like shyt. Im so lost, I've never felt so strongly about another person that I could put them before me at times. All help is very much appreciated and thanx in advance.