The One...

[Graham Berkeley]

Were all out there looking for "the one"... Some of you are convinced you have found them and some of you are right. What is it like and what did it take? Is it simply an age thing? Is it a numbers game? Is it serendipity? What about those who never find "the one"?

[ransom_nite]

Yeahh one of the biggest questions thought and asked in a relationship is whether or not they are the *one!*. I don't find it to be an age thing at all, i'm convinced I have met the one for myself, we have been together since we were 16, started off LD which was hard but we pushed through it, she then broke up with me after 3 years for a month and realised she couldn't be without me, so we got back together and have continued our relationship for a further year and a bit and that proposal could be just around the corner.

I can't see myself with anybody else and neither can she,however, will it last a lifetime? Well only time will tell but for now I am content with knowing I want to spend my life with her.

[Lipp]

There are several people who'd fit into being "the one", but the probability of meeting them and circumstances allowing for things to develop makes them treasureable.

[girl68]

It has a little bit to do with age. Like at 16 I don't think it's possible to have found "the one". But as you get older you know what type of person is going to compliment you and your life. Your life is already somewhat in order but at 16 you're still growing into this person and more often that not a partner will not be able to survive all the changes in your life.

It also has to do with numbers. Higher isn't always better but multiple is usually a good thing. Me for example I know what I want because I had what I didn't want for a long, long time. And now with my current bf he is most everything I was missing plus some. So that's how I know. And I'm also at a stage in life where I know how he'll compliment my lifestyle and choices.

[RonHH]

I have to admit I wasn't looking. I was open to the idea of wanting someone for the rest of my life, but wasn't searching for her. Found her one day ,,,,,,,, no, we found each other one day. she wasn't looking eather .
O yes the right one is out there !!! And as most know by now that was 31 years ago.

[wipe_out]

I have met maybe two or three that I thought were "the one".. One definitely wasn't, I was young and infatuated..

The current "one" I am not able to be with to see if she really is "the one" because of circumstance.. I firmly believe she is "the one" but may never know..

[bluesummer]

I don't believe in 'the one', even though I'm engaged. I've been in love with several people in my life, and I know that if I lost my partner I'd fall in love with someone else one day. I've decided to be with this one forever because overall we're super compatible and awesome friends. I'd say a lot of it comes from age and experience, I've been with enough people to know what works for me and what doesn't, and what real 'love' truly is.

I think 'the one' is a very romantic idea, but not necessarily a realistic one. I simply don't believe there is one person out there for everyone.

[girl68]

I think 'the one' is a very romantic idea, but not necessarily a realistic one. I simply don't believe there is one person out there for everyone.

I agree very much. I believe there is "the one" that I will marry and spend my life with... but I do not believe that I will be alone and miserable should something bad happen. I do not believe in ONLY one, "the one". (If that makes sense.)

[Graham Berkeley]

So it sounds like "The one" is someone who meets enough of your criteria and that you are to old and tired to keep looking for someone better?

[bluesummer]

Where did old and tired come into it? You date enough people, you're eventually going to meet one that is superior to the rest...this takes time for most. Some people are lucky enough to get it right on the first or second try.

Everybody is lookin for something different. The only thing I tell people is that if that person regularly shows you disrespect or causes you to hurt, they're not the one for you.

I've been with my fiance just over two years and he makes me smile every day.

[girl68]

So it sounds like "The one" is someone who meets enough of your criteria and that you are to old and tired to keep looking for someone better?

Totally wrong. Who said anything about old and tired. It is simply when you meet someone who meets all your criteria- PERIOD.

[Gigabitch]

Something bout my husband just felt right- like a puzzle piece that fit just right. It was like that when we first met and didn't change throughout our subsequent breakup, twelve years of being "friends" while I was married to someone else, etc.

He's not the only person I ever felt that with, but he's the only one that also met my other criteria (long list).

[IndiReloaded]

So it sounds like "The one" is someone who meets enough of your criteria and that you are to old and tired to keep looking for someone better?

There is *always* someone better. You may not find them in your lifetime, I guess that's the chance you take.

Personally, I find it is better to know what one wants/makes one happy. Once you find that person/job/situation, it is more about personal commitment to stick with a decision. There are too many other things to get done to spend one's life second guessing decent choices. If the situation changes and your choice is no longer a good one, you can always change too.

[Mish]

I think it's all about compatibility. The more compatible the person is to you the more they seem like "the onenish".

[Graham Berkeley]

I think it's all about compatibility. The more compatible the person is to you the more they seem like "the onenish".

I would agree with that.