I have no idea what happened

[TheScareCrow]

I had been dating a girl for about 4 months and it was like no relationship i had ever had before. She's my soulmate and best friend and lover. In the past month or so we started becoming a bit distant and started becoming more worried about each other than we were about ourselves. We are both 20 by the way. We both slipped into depression at the same time (we both have clinical depression) and things just weren't like they should have been.

So we had a big talk tonight that ended up with both of us in tears confused as to what happened and deciding that the only way to fix this is to split up, even though it's what neither of us wanted at all. I'm so confused because my past relationships have ended either because of somebody not being faithful or some other reason that caused one of to resent each other. But with her it was nothing like that. This relationship was the shortest but by far the most important and incredible one I have ever had and i need some advice as to what to do because im very confused.

[RonHH]

Hi, Don't go past relationships , this one should be on it's own merits.
Don't screw it up by compairing it to something else. This one sounds like a relationship you can build on. Take your time with each other and treat her the way you would want to be treated.
I wish you the best

[Sanctuary]

So we had a big talk tonight that ended up with both of us in tears confused as to what happened and deciding that the only way to fix this is to split up, even though it's what neither of us wanted at all.

I think you need to tell us what breaking up fixes.

[TheScareCrow]

I think you need to tell us what breaking up fixes.

It really fixes nothing but it was the only conclusion we kept coming back to in our talk. We are both very codependent people and I think what happened is one (or both) of us started falling down which made us both fall. I want to have a relationship with her more than anything and she does with me as well, but we could find no other solution than to break up. I'm completely lost and broken and I've never actually cried and felt bad about not being with someone before.

She is my best friend and soulmate and now I can't see her anymore for some reason unknown to both of us. Thats the only way I can put it and it feels so unfair to both of us. We both want it to work very badly though.

How should I act around her? How do I act towards her? My first instinct is to ignore her completely and cut her off so as to not get into the viscous circle of heartbreak but a friend told me if I want things to work then just be her friend for now and take it easy....

I dont know what to do.

[IncognitoSir]

Everything you're saying here makes no sense. You refer to her as your soulmate and best friend. FIGHT for what you want man! When I say fight I mean dont give up. You both are emotional right now, this we know. Emotions can make you do all kinds of stupid idiotic things in the heat of the moment. I dont believe distance between you 2 would help anything. I think you 2 should get together and just put everything out on the table. Everything on your mind, her mind, what you both love about your relationship and what you both hate about your relationship. If there is a problem between you 2 then the 2 of you need to confront it. It really seems like you and your girl are emotionally overwhelmed. Take a breather, and tackle this situation head on. Don't let some mystery problem destroy the love between you and your soulmate bro. Fight for it my man, gluck to you!

[TheScareCrow]

Everything you're saying here makes no sense. You refer to her as your soulmate and best friend. FIGHT for what you want man! When I say fight I mean dont give up. You both are emotional right now, this we know. Emotions can make you do all kinds of stupid idiotic things in the heat of the moment. I dont believe distance between you 2 would help anything. I think you 2 should get together and just put everything out on the table. Everything on your mind, her mind, what you both love about your relationship and what you both hate about your relationship. If there is a problem between you 2 then the 2 of you need to confront it. It really seems like you and your girl are emotionally overwhelmed. Take a breather, and tackle this situation head on. Don't let some mystery problem destroy the love between you and your soulmate bro. Fight for it my man, gluck to you!

Thankyou man. I just talked to her and tomorrow we are going to meet up and talk about this crazy mess. I'm up for laying everything out on the table and so is she I just dont know where to take it from there. I would really hate for us to go through all this and decide to be with each other again and for things to just fall apart again like they did. I need to somehow figure out what is going to be different about it from here on out...

When we first met we were both very independent and complemented each other very well and it turned into neurotic codependence on both our parts. And I somehow need to find out what went wrong so it can be prevented in the future.