Hi all.
I'm almost 26 and I have never been in a real relationship.
I joined the military as soon as I graduated high school, after my discharged I immediately started college. I finished two Bachelor's degree and will finish my Master's this December, meanwhile I'm teaching part time at a community college. I always keep myself at top physical shape and treat everyone with respect and kindness.
But as it appears, none of these counts in relationship.
I didn't have a chance to have my first date until two years ago, when I ask one of my classmate out (we are in the same graduate program). We dated a couple of times before we start sleeping together, but she maintained that we are strictly friends. I wanted more so I kept staying with her, but it didn't work. She got married last summer to another guy from her country (we are both not born in America, but she is on student visa).
Then I started going out with this one girl I helped at work. Perhaps it was my mistake to date someone who gets help from me, but she was the one who ask me out in the first place. I went out of my way to do things for her, making it clear that I wanted to start a relationship with her. She took the flowers and she said she wants to keep hanging out. Six months later she mentioned that she wants to go with the flow, we are good friends and she doesn't want to mess it up. In that instant I understood that she just wanted to be a friend and was keeping her options open. So I stop seeing her.
Then I went on a few more dates, but every time it is either they start responding or they asked me for some sort of help (usually academically related).
What is wrong with me? Why is it that I could never find a girl who can appreciate me and ended up taking advantage of me? I am an Asian in America, so no matter how much hard work I put in, I'm still unattractive? And as the first girl told me, I am just predicable and boring.
What am I doing wrong? What can I do to make myself more attractive to other women? Or is it just that the world have moved on without me? And that I am not fit for the modern dating game? Perhaps I should give up and go the easy way out? I want to cease my emotion and not have to feel bad or lonely anymore, perhaps I should consider chemical castration?
That was crazy talk but a friend of mine told me that I'm trying too hard, and that I am pursuing relationship for the wrong reason. Then what is the right reason? I was attracted to both girls I went out with, and I considered building something more with them, is that wrong? Perhaps I am, but it is just that, I have never been in love before, and I feel alone in this.
Please give me your thoughts, thank you.