I cannot cum from sex

**pentago** · 13-10-09, 01:12 PM

Hey guys, first post.

Yup, the title sums it up pretty well. When I have sex with my girlfriend, I can't ever cum, and sex ends when I go limp. I've always been really upset about it, but lately my girlfriend has been taking it to heart, believing that it's somehow her fault (i.e. she isn't hot enough, she's too fat, she isn't doing the right things for me) and it's especially frustrating to her if sex is short. I honestly do not believe that it's the issue, but I really can't seem to convince her. I'm pretty sure that it's a problem with my body, or that I simply can't cum around another person. Strangely enough, I can cum on my own when nobody else is around via masturbation. It's really sad because she's a beautiful girl who I'm in love with and can connect with on so many different levels, but this is a major obstacle in our relationship that I'm worried I won't ever get over. Does anyone have any experience with this, or know of a partner that has the same problem? I don't know what to do, I feel useless and it makes me want to kill myself sometimes.

Please help.

**ProudPatriot** · 13-10-09, 01:27 PM

Have you tried different positions while having sex? You might not be in a comfortable position which makes you unfocused.
Do you start out with foreplay? Maybe you dont get fully in the mood before starting intercourse.
Is your girlfriend wet enough when you have intercourse? Its all about both of you fully consentrating on what each other likes and what feels amazing to youself.
Try doggy style so you can control how you move your body and remain focused.
Try talking during sex also, not like conversations but see if you can get into dirty talk also.
The only time my boyfriend has problems cumming is when he gets overheated while having sex and then he becomes limp but after we turn on the fan, do some foreplay, then hes back in the game.

**Enigmos** · 13-10-09, 01:29 PM

are you comfortable with your girlfriend? if you can masturbate and have an orgasm, this may not be a physical issue as it is a mental one.

**joan_hi** · 13-10-09, 02:37 PM

My bf is having the same problem when we were first together. After he found the right position, he started to cum. So, during sex he can last long and when he wants to cum, we will switch to the position that makes him cum

**Primo** · 13-10-09, 10:30 PM

Right off hand I'd agree with Enigmos and say there's something mentally going on.

**pentago** · 14-10-09, 01:23 AM

Originally Posted by Primo

Right off hand I'd agree with Enigmos and say there's something mentally going on.

Yeah okay, I must admit that went through my head. But what is it? I've been with her 5 months (had sex for 4), and I'd say we are pretty sexually comfortable with each other. We have sex often, we change together, give each other orals, shower together and all that fun stuff. I am definitely attracted to her, but she has doubts about that since I can't seem to cum no matter what I do during sex.

**Primo** · 14-10-09, 06:29 AM

I don't know pentago. I've experienced what you're describing to a "T" but it's always because I'm wondering what I'm doing there and have lost interest in whatever got me there in the first place :-P

If you're into your chick and not thinking about her best friend or something in the middle of it and still not able to get a nut, you may want to go get a physical and some blood work. Just a thought.

**loudrims_inc** · 14-10-09, 07:27 AM

yea i think its mental as well.

**valkyrie4896** · 18-10-09, 09:28 PM

How frequent do you masturbate? And during your masturbation, how hard and fast did you jerk?

Maybe you're too used to your own hand, and her vagina may not be as tight as you are able to grip yourself. As for you going limp, could be, her body may not be as stimulating for you as your masturbation materials.

**zy02856** · 16-11-09, 02:02 PM

try to see a docter

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