What to do

[chris_68_]

Well I dated this girl for about 5 months and we instantly fell in love and we started living together. Even when we broke up we both agreed thatit felt like we where together forever. Things were going good except for the last month. I quit my job and got real lazy and that caused us to argue more and I was taking her for granted, just by not listening to her and not showing her I cared about her school I was a real iddiot. She wasnt happy so she broke up with me. I moved back home. She is in the police acadamy so she goes to school all day then comes home and studys at night and then goes to bed so she doesnt have time for much. We have been broken up for about a month and a half and for the first month I was beggin her to take me back and justacting like a imature iddiot showing up ather house calling her all the time and she got fed up with it and said she didnt wanna talk to me or see me because she couldnt hadnle the stress of me and school. About 2 weeks ago I stopped calling her and decided it was time to move on with my life. That week we went to lunch and dinner and started talking almost everyday. I told her that I love her and miss her very much and want her back. While at dinner she said she wanted a new beggining with me and we needed to start off justbeing civil and then try to be friends and be able to hang out and not argue and fight. She told me she doesnt want a relationship while shes in school because of how busy she is. I asked her if she missed me and she said sometimes but I havent given her the chance to miss me enough to do anything about it. I recently stopped calling her and texting her and yesterday she asked me to lunch but I couldnt go because of work. I ask her if she thinks we will get back together and she says she doesnt know whatwill happen in the furutre because her main priority is school. So what should I think or do at this point I really love her and miss her like crazy and itrs really hard just not knowing whats going to happen

[dancer4life]

Best thing to do right now is to respect her wishes. Start your relationship over.
Right now she doesn't need anymore stress. The police academy is stressful enough (especially for a chick.) Just be a friend right now. that's all you can be. Everytime you push her or tell her you love her, you're hammering another nail in your relationships coffin.
Give her some distance and most of all, give it time!

and remember: "What's meant to be will always find a way."
if this relationship isn't supposed to happen, then you have to accept that...trying to force this relationship to work will only make it worse and both of you unhappy down the road.

Best of luck!

[chris_68_]

so should I not call her or text her at all? Is it possible to give her to much space. I justwanna do whatever I can to get her back

[dancer4life]

I'm not saying just to totally ignore her. but keep it to a minium. I for sure wouldn't call her...just text.
one thing you CAN do (it's totally your call i'm not saying you should or shouldn't) is if you both have a FB, have her status sent to your phone (just don't tell her) this way you can see how she's doing thoroughout the week. If she updates saying that she's stressed or something because of a test coming up, wait a couple hours then sending a text saying you saw her status and was wondering if she needed help studying. This way, it shows her you care and you want to help her...as a friend....The main thing you have to do is make sure you don't reply immediately because that'll just seem weird...
But...if you do text her, you CAN NOT get offended if she doesn't text you back (this is why I'm saying to text not call...unanswered calls are harder to go through then un-responded to texts) she might just be busy.
as for giving her too much space, that's your call...

[chris_68_]

I understand and I used to get upset when she didnt respond to my texts or to my calls but now i understand how busy she is, but do you think its the best idea that we become friends first because I know alot of people say if you become friends with your ex then thats all youll be. Like how can I take it past that friends level

[dancer4life]

yeah, that happens with a lot of people...but not with everyone! The thing you need to remember is that your best friend should be the person you love the most. So unless you two become great friends again, nothing will (most likely) ever happen...
as for getting it to go past friends...patience is the number one key!
you've got to start WAY slow once you are friends. go out to lunch every once in a while, go to concerts or just hang out...do things normal friends would do, but do it a little more often. if you think she's ready to try again, then go for it. buy her flowers (not roses, just nice flowers) or something...but you have to wait a long time before doing that...
it's just going to take time...
(does any of that make sense?)

[chris_68_]

yeah it all makes sense we have gone out to lunch 2 weeks ago and dinner last week. and she even told me thats this is where we have to start, and I know its going to take time but its hard.

[dancer4life]

Well if she's saying that this is where you guys need to start then you're definately on the right track!!!

[chris_68_]

Yeah I agree she wouldnt say it if she didnt mean it, I really appreciate it you know I talk to my friends about it but their mostly guys and its good to have a girls perspective, I just want everything to work out

[dancer4life]

That's all anyone wants...just for things to work out and be happy!!!
Good luck man! I really do hope everything works out between you two!!!

[chris_68_]

yeah I hope it works out also : ) thanx again

[dancer4life]

anytime!!!

[chris_68_]

how do I know how much space to give, like is there to much space I can give her

[dancer4life]

you really have to be a judge of that for yourself because each girl needs different space...

If you totally delete her out of your life, I think you might've gone a little far to give her space.

Be careful with physical contact because that could cause a problem. Don't hug too much or hold hands until she's ready for it (you might wanna let her make that first move so you know when she's ready.)