I Feel the need to email my ex

[Dogtoast]

Even though I see her every day at work, we do not talk about our old relationship or "us" at all. I feel the very strong need to set her straight and tell her how I feel about her as a person. I have no yearning to ever get back together with her, and I want her to know that although she thinks she's being slick in regards to keeping her new relationship under wraps, she is not. I've been putting off telling her how I feel ever since we broke up. I wanted her new relationship to take off more so I could feel confident in the things I've wanted to say. This way she can't say "theres nothing going on we're just friends". Its all solid now and I know they're together.

Problem is, I dont know if its going to do a single thing for me. I want to get it off my chest, and thats about all I want to do. She won't respond if I send her an email because she's a cold bitch. So essentially I will just be getting it off my chest and thats it.

Its been 7 weeks since we broke up. Stay silent or send email?

[misombra]

omg dogwood leave this bitch alone she doesn't want to deal with you anymore!

[Dogtoast]

omg dogwood leave this bitch alone she doesn't want to deal with you anymore!

i know i know she just needs to know she's a piece of sh*t and be put in her place once and for all.

[misombra]

she's not a piece of shit she's human and she doesn't want to be bothered with you anymore. writing her to tell her what a piece of shit she is will burn your bridge and make you seem like an absolute dick.

[Dogtoast]

she's not a piece of shit she's human and she doesn't want to be bothered with you anymore. writing her to tell her what a piece of shit she is will burn your bridge and make you seem like an absolute dick.

Of course, I am not writing her to tell her she's a piece of sh*t. I shouldn't have said that. I need her to know that I think she handled our situation with a lack of respect and an air of selfishness that she might need to reflect upon if she's really going to be happy. I loved the girl and would like her to be happy, but she's got some issues in regards to her treatment of others and how she handles things. She continues to bother herself with me not only because we work together and she has to, but she still calls me in the mornings before work to bs about whatever she wants to thats non work related. I feel I have to be nice to her so we have a good productive day at the office.

Having said all that, I want her to know I'm not oblivious to everything she's doing/done, like she thinks I am. What will it do? What am I trying to achieve?
I'll get some crap off my chest once and for all. I don't care if I burn a bridge with her by calling her out on a few things. I do not wish to ever be back with her and I'm not going to fire off some email just cursing at her.

[misombra]

Stay silent or send email?

stay silent.

but it's your decision you can do whatever you want. leaving her alone is my advice.

[Dogtoast]

stay silent.

but it's your decision you can do whatever you want. leaving her alone is my advice.

Stay silent and continue to save face essentially then huh?

Hmm

[misombra]

no, stay silent so that you can stop worrying about it and move on with your life.

[vashti]

Is this the girl you work with? the one who is too indepenedent for you?

I agree with misombra. Leave her alone. She clearly wants to move on, and you will not get the satisfaction you think you will get by berating her, and additionally, you may put your job in jeopardy.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

One thing alot of people fail to realize is that constantly contacting your ex after breaking up (unless over mutual reasons) is a pretty bad idea. It doesn't make you look good. You're giving her the upper hand. She would possibly feel like you're not over her and she can do alot of shit just because she knows it will affect you in some form of way. In the end, you're gonna be the unhappy one. Is that what you want?

It's hard to keep things on my chest too, but sometimes it's best to keep some things unsaid. It's best to keep it as no contact at all because then she'll feel like yea you really have moved on and her new relationship isn't phasing you.

I don't know if I'm missing anything from previous posts from you, but this is my two cents on this thread.

Stay silent. You'd quicker regret saying something than staying silent.

[Dogtoast]

One thing alot of people fail to realize is that constantly contacting your ex after breaking up (unless over mutual reasons) is a pretty bad idea. It doesn't make you look good. You're giving her the upper hand. She would possibly feel like you're not over her and she can do alot of shit just because she knows it will affect you in some form of way. In the end, you're gonna be the unhappy one. Is that what you want?

It's hard to keep things on my chest too, but sometimes it's best to keep some things unsaid. It's best to keep it as no contact at all because then she'll feel like yea you really have moved on and her new relationship isn't phasing you.

I don't know if I'm missing anything from previous posts from you, but this is my two cents on this thread.

Stay silent. You'd quicker regret saying something than staying silent.

yeah as much as I'd like to get it all off my chest and attempt to make her understand where I'm coming from, it will fall on deaf ears. She will not own up to anything and all I will do is give her the upper hand and the knowledge that I care about what happened.

So far no votes for "send email"

[starbuck]

I vote stay silent, mostly because you work with her. Since she's a coworker, it's dicey to keep up a personal relationship with her at all.

It's frustrating when we feel like we haven't been heard or understood in a relationship. If you must send her an email, wait until you aren't coworkers. Although by that time I doubt you'll even care.

Moving on is the best solution for you right now. What was that thing Giga said? Something like, "the best way to get over someone is to get under another someone?" I'm paraphrasing. I'm sure she said it better than that

[Dogtoast]

I vote stay silent, mostly because you work with her. Since she's a coworker, it's dicey to keep up a personal relationship with her at all.

It's frustrating when we feel like we haven't been heard or understood in a relationship. If you must send her an email, wait until you aren't coworkers. Although by that time I doubt you'll even care.

Moving on is the best solution for you right now. What was that thing Giga said? Something like, "the best way to get over someone is to get under another someone?" I'm paraphrasing. I'm sure she said it better than that

I'm moving on and revisiting this whole thing less and less as the weeks go on. I appreciate everyone's responses.

Yes the "get under someone" phrase is very true and works like a charm.

[IndiReloaded]

Dogtoast, you sound like a completely insecure, self-absorbed dick.

What is your motive for sending such a thing? You want to teach her a lesson. Of course, its for her own good, right?

Thing is, she has washed her hands of you. She's not asking for your wisdom. You just want to prove you are 'right'. Such an uninvited letter is an intrusion, just as bad as whatever happened during your relationship. You do not have the right to force yourself on another person this way. Get over it (and yourself) already.

[Dogtoast]

Dogtoast, you sound like a completely insecure, self-absorbed dick.

What is your motive for sending such a thing? You want to teach her a lesson. Of course, its for her own good, right?

Thing is, she has washed her hands of you. She's not asking for your wisdom. You just want to prove you are 'right'. Such an uninvited letter is an intrusion, just as bad as whatever happened during your relationship. You do not have the right to force yourself on another person this way. Get over it (and yourself) already.

I'm extremely insecure about my ex. Why the hell do you think I'm posting on Loveforum.net asking for help? I probably do come across as self absorbed right now, maybe even border line narcissistic.

"I JUST WANT TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST"....was in my first post. Of course its all about me in a thread I started.

"Force myself on another person"?? Get off your high horse, friend. You're making it sound like I'm driving by and showing up at her house. Its a freaking email I've not even sent.