keep it simple

[flea]

Very interesting point. Im not saying that 'love' is a bad thing because its what essentially makes people tick. However the feeling of being 'in love' is far more complicated and is down to a lot of psycological behaviour created by the persons upbringing and effects of society then a natural emotion.

And flea what you mention is about a deep level of trust that certainly is not impossible to find with a best friend.

Not flaming by the way, just debating... its all about opinions

also just debating...


I believe you're talking about being an emotional barnacle, not love. you're right, as some people may come from dark backgrounds and seek an emotional bond (good or bad) over all else, but I also think that in their heart-of-hearts they too know it's not real love. as I stated earlier, when you're in it, you know.

[mrtdg82]

also just debating...


I believe you're talking about being an emotional barnacle, not love. you're right, as some people may come from dark backgrounds and seek an emotional bond (good or bad) over all else, but I also think that in their heart-of-hearts they too know it's not real love. as I stated earlier, when you're in it, you know.

Ironically thats what i hear from most people... however these are the same people that have been married multiple times and try to convince me that their third marraige is perfect and the other 2 were mistakes whom they didnt really love....

Similer from the people whose boyfriends/girlfriends treat them badly yet they stick with them because they 'love' them...

Quick question but do you think that love is mainly sought after/experienced if you like by females?

[girl68]

Quick question but do you think that love is mainly sought after/experienced if you like by females?

Absolutlely not.

[mrtdg82]

Absolutlely not.

Then why are the majority of films/books etc about the subject of romance etc aimed at the female audience? i.e 'chick flicks' etc

[flea]

Ironically thats what i hear from most people... however these are the same people that have been married multiple times and try to convince me that their third marraige is perfect and the other 2 were mistakes whom they didnt really love....

Similer from the people whose boyfriends/girlfriends treat them badly yet they stick with them because they 'love' them...

Quick question but do you think that love is mainly sought after/experienced if you like by females?

if you're suggesting that females are the only ones that truly love (or seek love) and the rest of us wander blindly until someone we think looks ok ropes us in, then no, I don't think that at all.


one curse 'society' has inflicted on us poor male saps is "being a man", by which I mean, being tough, showing little-to-no emotion, and being in control of every situation you are a part of. your question furthers this stupid notion, implying that men don't really wish for love, and that it's something mainly girls are interested in. we ALL want to find love, give love, and be loved. what that means for you, doesn't necessarily mean the same for me, and that's the beauty of it....we are all different, and somewhere out there in this big, crazy world is someone just as ****ed-up as you that will love, respect, and treat you the way you wish - and in return, you will shower them with all the lovey stuff that's inside you, and it will be beautiful.

*edit* btw, not saying you're stupid. just the idea that men don't really care for love. I'm a man, and I love to love.

[doppelgaenger]

I show lots of emotion, flea. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm usually happy and in a great mood, and anyone who is around me would find that very obvious. It's the bad emotions that I don't like to show. I don't like people to know that I am angry, upset, or sad.

I don't hide my love, either. I'm not afraid to kiss my girlfriend, hug her, or tell her I love her, or hold her hand, etc. around other people.

Of course, I think that's how a man should act. A man should always show that he is happy and always be polite, and never be angry or sad. He should cheer others up who might be sad, and fix everyone's problems. He should always treat his woman out of love, and be proud of her.

[girl68]

Then why are the majority of films/books etc about the subject of romance etc aimed at the female audience? i.e 'chick flicks' etc

Because it's a girly movie not because men don't want to be loved!

[flea]

I show lots of emotion, flea. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm usually happy and in a great mood, and anyone who is around me would find that very obvious. It's the bad emotions that I don't like to show. I don't like people to know that I am angry, upset, or sad.

I don't hide my love, either. I'm not afraid to kiss my girlfriend, hug her, or tell her I love her, or hold her hand, etc. around other people.

Of course, I think that's how a man should act. A man should always show that he is happy and always be polite, and never be angry or sad. He should cheer others up who might be sad, and fix everyone's problems. He should always treat his woman out of love, and be proud of her.

I couldn't agree more dp.

you sound a lot like me in fact, but the truth is that there are a lot of men out there who are brought up to be just as I described. it's not what I'm like, but then I had an unusual upbringing. I was generalising a bit, but I don't think it's without merit because I happen to know a lot of people that act the way I described earlier. they're different around women than they are around other men, it's silly. I am me no matter where I am, and you either like me or you don't.

[mrtdg82]

Because it's a girly movie not because men don't want to be loved!

Apologies i think i havent outlined what i meant correctly.

Im not saying all men dont want to be loved, im just saying the concept of it outlined by what films and books are advertised for is far more commonly desired by women as opposed by men.

Thats not to say men dont want it either im just saying its more commonly wanted by women.

[mrtdg82]

if you're suggesting that females are the only ones that truly love (or seek love) and the rest of us wander blindly until someone we think looks ok ropes us in, then no, I don't think that at all.


one curse 'society' has inflicted on us poor male saps is "being a man", by which I mean, being tough, showing little-to-no emotion, and being in control of every situation you are a part of. your question furthers this stupid notion, implying that men don't really wish for love, and that it's something mainly girls are interested in. we ALL want to find love, give love, and be loved. what that means for you, doesn't necessarily mean the same for me, and that's the beauty of it....we are all different, and somewhere out there in this big, crazy world is someone just as ****ed-up as you that will love, respect, and treat you the way you wish - and in return, you will shower them with all the lovey stuff that's inside you, and it will be beautiful.

*edit* btw, not saying you're stupid. just the idea that men don't really care for love. I'm a man, and I love to love.

And to an extent i totally agree with you in that society tends to dictate what being a 'man' is all about.

However i think ul find if you were to survey 100 boys and 100 females of around the teenage age asking who wants to be settled in a long term relationship within the next 5 years the girls obtain far more yes's then the boys who especially at that age with the boys more likely to be wanting to sleep with as many girls as possible.

Im not saying this thought process would be correct however you have to consider that at our most innocent we bring out our most natural instincts.

[flea]

that doesn't mean the boys don't want to be loved at some point. I didn't realise you were framing your entire point around teenagers. they are not a gauge for love. it's true that many find love young, and stay together (I am one of those people) but they're hardly a reliable source on real love. most teenagers experience infatuation, or puppy love....it's not a good basis for comparison.

[girl68]

Im not saying all men dont want to be loved, im just saying the concept of it outlined by what films and books are advertised for is far more commonly desired by women as opposed by men.

Thats not to say men dont want it either im just saying its more commonly wanted by women.

I still disagree. Nearly every single person wants to be loved. Peroid. Just because girls like to watch it on TV doesn't mean we want it more.