Fiance and His Mother

[CocoChanel]

Oh well! All the other family members had fun playing, Anako and me too! It was in the plan anyway and we did it and had a damn blast. If I am little girl because I play Wii then oh well! I guess Anako and his other relatives who played are little children too then? LOL I intend to stay true to who I am regardless of what his Mother thinks. I'm marrying Anako and not her. He loves me for who I am and she'll just have to accept that.

[misombra]

nope. you're marrying her too. by getting married you are promising to deal with his mother and all her bullshit for the rest of her life.

[CocoChanel]

And she will be marrying me too which means she'll have to tolerate me too. That doesn't mean I have to change myself because she doesn't like it. No one else complains but her. I'm just going to kill her with kindness like Blue suggested. I'm going to stop letting everything she says get to me and hurt me and just continue to ignore her.

[misombra]

actually she doesn't have to tolerate you. she can spew her venom at you whenever. the divorce rate is about 50% which means that your husband has a 50/50 chance of you being his wife but has a 100% chance of her always being his mother. that puts you in a position where you have to tolerate her. and if it goes on like that for a long long time then your husband is going to be very stressed out, and it'll lead you to be more insecure. because you said a few days ago that you worry that he'll go look for somebody who his mother likes better.

have you tried to sit down one on one with her and ask her what her deal is with you?

[Sonrisa]

Oh well! All the other family members had fun playing, Anako and me too! It was in the plan anyway and we did it and had a damn blast. If I am little girl because I play Wii then oh well! I guess Anako and his other relatives who played are little children too then? LOL I intend to stay true to who I am regardless of what his Mother thinks. I'm marrying Anako and not her. He loves me for who I am and she'll just have to accept that.

that's exactly NOT what i said. i didn't say you had to change, but you at least in her presence you had to play a different role. i guess that is the reason why she can't gain any respect you cuz you take things with an attitude and great misunderstanding.

[qwertz]

I dont see the problem...if coco wanted to play wii and she didnt- then its her loss, she CHOSE not to and i dont see why coco should act any differently around her, as long as your polite and pleasant to her.

[Sonrisa]

I dont see the problem...if coco wanted to play wii and she didnt- then its her loss, she CHOSE not to and i dont see why coco should act any differently around her, as long as your polite and pleasant to her.

how old are you?

[qwertz]

22 why? how old are you?

[misombra]

i don't see anything wrong with coco changing her ways to gain the acceptance of her mother. coco should be a little less sensitive to perceived adversity anyway, which it's clear that she isn't even in the forums. maybe her mother in law could help her with this, as it will present as a problem throughout life. it would also help her future mother in law to see her differently.

[Sonrisa]

22 why? how old are you?

i am 32.

why you say? because society requires us to behave differently in such situations. if coco WAS in fact trying to get along with mom-in-law, then she would highly consider changing her behaviour around his family. it's pretty much a cinderella story. only he can accept her for what she is, to the rest of the high society she needs to step up her acting skills.

[qwertz]

i am 32.

why you say? because society requires us to behave differently in such situations. if coco WAS in fact trying to get along with mom-in-law, then she would highly consider changing her behaviour around his family. it's pretty much a cinderella story. only he can accept her for what she is, to the rest of the high society she needs to step up her acting skills.

Hummmm, what has that got to do with how old I am?

I agree that coco needs to suck it up and be polite and ignore the insults but i dont think she should change just for her MIL to be

[Sonrisa]

Hummmm, what has that got to do with how old I am?

I agree that coco needs to suck it up and be polite and ignore the insults but i dont think she should change just for her MIL to be

i never said change though.

age does matter IMO. the younger we are the more rebellious we try to be, age gives us wisdom (some of us at least)

[qwertz]

Believe me, im well past my rebellious stage! Lol im old before my time

[CocoChanel]

because you said a few days ago that you worry that he'll go look for somebody who his mother likes better.

I don't know where you saw that at but I don't fear that at all. There is a couple of things everyone needs to understand.

1. I have never mistreated his Mother... ever. Her reasons for not liking me is because I grew up differently than Anako. I'm not rich. And she label me a tomboy because at a family event... I knew too much about football and that's not "ladylike" to her. That came from her mouth when me and her had a lunch date 4 years ago and I asked her... why doesn't she like me.

2. I have been putting up with her shit for this long and I will continue. She doesn't have to put up with me because when I am around her... I barely say a word. She makes the racial comments and other insults and I would just sit there and take it... or simply walk away.

3. My Fiancee does not have a Mother/Son close bond with her. Mostly because he disagrees with 90% of her beliefs which is why he had such a rough time living in her household. He was closest to his Father. All the things his Mother hates about me... are the things he loves about me.

I do not have to change who I am just to please her. I will never fit into her world. I wasn't born a millionaire. I don't act like a royal princess. I am not classless likes she makes me out to be. I know how to act and I know how to behave... I don't need any sort of help in that department. What I find strange is NO ONE ELSE... Mother's side of the family or Father's side of the family have a problem with me... only HER. I am not the one with problem and I finally figured that out thanks to my baby.

So what if we played Wii?! It was something we had in the plan because Anako's Aunt doesn't have one in Italy, no one in the family does and when we talked on the phone... she insisted we play when she came to America. SO WE DID. Point Blank. I don't see anything wrong with some family fun.

[misombra]

well, good luck with everything. i mean that.