Fiance and His Mother

[CocoChanel]

She was born in France. Not in Paris though. She speaks it fluently and has a heavy french accent. LOL She's adorable. Short and petite.

[IndiReloaded]

Oh dear. You have a eurosnob MIL. Fun.

They tend to be very class-conscious. The only way to get along is to either be perceived as better than they are (which they resent, but will respect you) or just agree with them when there is no percentage not to.

If I was fed up with comments I (e.g. the teepee one) I would probably make a comment about how wonderfully progressive America is for encouraging the preservation of native art and culture. How Urp hasn't had any natives to speak of for centuries. Ask if she's ever been to see the such-and-such, and that she really should. Use the opportunity to demonstrate your native knowledge and own her (in a polite way).

[CocoChanel]

LOL Yesssss! I like. I'm feeling a bit more confident about this. That is definitely a polite way to own her when she comes at me like that. But you are so right about the class-conscious thing. The rest of his family are snobbish but they treat me nice and they embrace me. They have accepted me but his Mom is just unreal. Wow! She even gets on Anako about certain things and he just ignores her but that doesn't stop her. LOL!

But again thanks for the advice everyone. I am going to try this out and really but some work into this. I'm not going to give up.

[vashti]

I thought you said you were Egyptian?

[misombra]

wait... you are native and you are dissing on hispanic people? do you know that the hispanic people of today are all a mix of spaniards and natives?

anyway, i thought you said you were hawaiian.

[IndiReloaded]

Coco... are you telling stories like Elle?

[CocoChanel]

I am Native American (Crow+Hawaiian) Egyptian and apparently my grandfather is Lebanese. but who knows. But... actually Hawaiians are Native Americans actually. They are of the Kanaka Maoli Tribe. Check it out sometimes. There is a lot to know about Hawaiians that are often overlooked like majority of Native American Tribes.

Plus. I don't diss on Hispanic people. Who doesn't know that Hispanics have Native American bloodlines... however there are many Hispanics that have neglected their Indian Roots and are more custom to the Spaniard Way.

[misombra]

i don't know about that. the hispanic people that i'm around don't know jack about spanish culture.

[CocoChanel]

Really? That is so hard to come. Mostly all the spanish people I am friends with look cross eyed when I mention Native American bloodlines and Hispanics. Only one person I am friends with he is Mexican... Navajo Tribe. He doesn't even speak spanish. lol

[misombra]

i think that's because just up until the last few generations it was more socially acceptable to identify with the spaniards. once the u.s. took over mexico it was not good to be associated with mexicans (although the spaniards were far more brutal). our state is largely hispanic and taught a little more about our history and our native roots. we're becoming more and more proud of that, which makes me happy. although my last name is still spanish.

[IndiReloaded]

Just don't go out of your way to antagonize her. For the most part, I would take Anakos lead, he's her son afterall so has had years to work out the best way to deal with her.

But sometimes, you have to draw lines in the sand to keep things in balance. People will only show you the respect you demand from them. Use your power for good and sparingly.

[IndiReloaded]

Spanish is a sexy language. Muy caliente(?) LOL.

[CocoChanel]

Can't deny that!! Spanish is a sexy language. French too. Italian too. Ahhh i miss my baby I sooo wish he wasn't working tonight!!

[CocoChanel]

So I did it. I reviewed that article from the site Indi gave me and I thought of what to say. So I did it. She drove me to my doctors appointment and picked me up. So I had time to say it then. I tried talkjing to her on the way there but she was shutting me out. So when I got back in the car leaving the doctors office... I did exactly this from the site...

How about going to your mother in law and asking her right out if you could be invited to her next family gathering. She will say that you are always welcome but it just hasn't been convenient on past occasions. Then you say, perhaps that is so but you want to be sure to be included the next time, unless there's some reason why she doesn't want you there. The ball is then in her court. She will have to tell you what her problem is. She might tell you that you don't "fit in" with the others, in which case you will ask her what you might do to improve that situation. "How can I fit in better? What should I do or say that would make me more acceptable at your dinner table?"

It was so scary how she responded just like this!! Once I said How can I fit in, will you tell me? Show me? Teach me? She was quiet then and just looked at me. At that moment I got teary eyed because I really wanted her to know that I love Anako and I want us to be a family. She told me that she doesn't dislike me... I'm just different. I told her I wanted to get to know her and to give me a chance. And she said she will try. She said show up for Christmas dinner. I said really? She said... yes really. I want you to come to Christmas Dinner. I was so happy I wanted to grab her and kiss her! LOL