Can one of you gals make sense of this for me?

[SamB]

Alright, so here's the story, Skip to the end for just a summary if u dont want to read. I was in love with this girl right, but she just wanted to stay friends ( ). But i couldn't exactly get over her. But there's this other girl with whom i've flirted with occasionally, more or less just trying to get some, but i knew her for about a year so i had some form of feelings for her. And then we were texting one night and she said she was falling in love with me. But still i didn't really have strong feelings with her but w/e i went for it and asked her out, she said yes, and everything was going well. For like the first week i was actually happy and started to develop stronger feelings for her. And i didnt even think about the first girl the whole time. But then around saturday she just wouldnt really respond to my texts. And then on sunday she just like went off saying she'd leave me if i didnt learn how to give her her space. I used to walk her home and she said she liked it and it made her feel safer but now she won't let me. And that hurt but i figure whatever ill just not text her for a few days and then see whats up. And so i asked her what she was doing friday (which is now today) she said that her ex and his family was going to be having dinner with her and her family. And i wasn't like jealous or anything i said "is it gonna be awkward" she said "no" i said "ok good" but then she said "i still love him, you deserve to know" so first i was all WTF?! but after i few minutes i regrouped and texted her back and said "do u love him more than me" assuming shed say no but she said "honestly i don't know" so again i was all WTF?! and now she gets angry whenever i try to talk to her. If i ask her whats wrong she defensively says "nothing!" and i was going to try to text her but conviently shes not allowed to text now. I was planning on talking to her yesterday but she left before i could and today i didnt see her at all. By the way she always kinda says she has family problems and her parents are being jackasses. But in all honesty shes a rude bitch lol and i usually agree with her parents on most things. But anyway so i figure one of two things is happening right now, 1) shes cheating on me or 2) shes realizing that she misses me and loves me and her ex means nothing. But anyway they way im interpreting it is that she just doesnt love me anymore. I guess i think that if i wasnt the problem that she would talk to me about it. But like i said she doesnt like talking to me. So what do u think is up?


Short version: my gf won't talk to me or be with me, claims to be having personal problems, which like i said she wont talk to me about. Said she loves her ex as much as if not more than me and is going to be with tonight. Cant and or Wont text me.

any opinions?

[IndiReloaded]

She's not your GF anymore she's your ex. Unless you are okay with sharing with her ex.

[SamB]

she said she wont cheat on me but she also left her other ex for me so obviously im having issues trusting her... i dont tell her that tho

[Artemis]

Agreed, Indi. I'm sure you've heard the saying before, "Don't make someone a priority if they only make you an option." So have some fun without her, it is obvious that she wants both you and her ex. Make her choose which, if you really want her to stick with you.

[SamB]

yeah... im gonna talk to her when i see her on monday tho, i dont want to jump to conclusions. Not feeling to optimistic about it thi

[IndiReloaded]

She left him for you. Well, there you are. I agree with Artie's quote and here's another one:

If she'll do it to him, she (or he) will do it to you.

[SamB]

Yeah, when she said she wouldnt cheat on me im pretty sure she wouldnt cheat on me not because she loves me but simply because she has the title of being in a relationship. I mean her and i didnt do anything before she broke it off with her ex but i mean who knows.

[kms]

Yeah.... unless she had some really good reasons for leaving him for you (such as abuse, him being a jerk, him cheating, etc.), this is more than likely a pattern. She'll probably stick with someone til someone cuter comes along, or til a fight pops up... who knows. Sounds like she probably has some attachment issues to work through. And, she may truly believe that she won't cheat on you, just like she probably believed she wouldn't cheat on her ex. She may be completely unaware of the issues that are occurring on a deeper , subconscious level.

Oh and by the way: you mentioned that you didn't 'do' anything with her when she was with her ex, but cheating is more physical acts, it's emotional as well. So if both of you were feeling something for each other, and expressing that in some way (verbally, flirting, nonverbally), then she definitely cheated with you.

[SamB]

she broke up with her old boyfriend because HE couldnt text and HE couldnt use the computer to IM and whatnot but now SHE cant do any of this stuff and i dont want break up with her just because her communications are limited, but if she still loves her ex thats a different story

[lahnnabell]

She sounds flaky. You didn't even have very strong feelings for her until she started getting all wishy-washy. Now you're head over heels and begging for her attention.

From what it sounds like she only said all that BS about her feelings for you 'cause she felt something small and needed something to fill her ex's void. She probably realized that a little too late and is now back pedaling. She's not worth it really.

[gina.c]

ok 1st of all, i'm a girl, i know how we are..when we say there's nothing on our minds thats a HUGE lie! 2nd of all i don't think she's worth the time of day, if she's going to be hanging out wit her ex & his family, that really doesnt sound like just friends to me..
i don't think you should be with her, if my boyfriend started acting like that i wouldnt waste my time staying with him. especially cuz she won't talk to you about it, thats messed up. I hate to say it but that girl is up to something. sorry=[