Did I Break It...?

[Perryville]

BS, do you need toys? Does your SO not meet your desires? All I'm saying is that the answer lies with the user, not their partners. Other posters have put the blame for dissatisfaction squarely on the shoulders of the SO whether it be male or female.

[vashti]

I can't imagine why someone in a good relationship would WANT a toy, to be honest, but I don't see any reason at all why a person who is unattached shouldn't use one.

[bluesummer]

No, I don't NEED them. I have them for fun, and they get used maybe once every couple of months? I have a sex life with my fiance most people would envy, guaranteed.

I know whatever issues I'm having with 'finishing' are strictly my own. I believe them to be stress based, and I'd never blame the toys or my man being bad in bed, because he's awesome.

[Perryville]

Vash and others, The only point I was trying to make is that the users of toys should concern themselves less with instant gratification or blaming the other person/gender, and more with trying to be receptive to intimate human contact. If a person, for whatever reason, cannot or will not be satisfied by genuine human love, then by all means, use toys. I'm not out to ruin somebody's fun, just saying, take responsibility for whatever you choose.

[vashti]

???

Human love does not equal sexual skill.

[Sanctuary]

The original train of thought of this thread has been derailed.

[Perryville]

True, and instant gratification doesn't equal learning and growing together.

[Perryville]

I agree, let's put it back on track.

[vashti]

all threads get derailed.

[Perryville]

Very true, Vash, it does seem that way.............Lilli, my advice to you would be to try having a relationship with the guy, who, you say, was able to trip your trigger. And therefore you would have less need for your purple passion, rabbit, racing, high octane, fuel-injected, vibrator, dildo and combination salad shooter. Or , whatever.

[lilly1185]

Very true, Vash, it does seem that way.............Lilli, my advice to you would be to try having a relationship with the guy, who, you say, was able to trip your trigger. And therefore you would have less need for your purple passion, rabbit, racing, high octane, fuel-injected, vibrator, dildo and combination salad shooter. Or , whatever.

I do have a man. It was posted somewhere in the process of the thread getting derailed that I don't have a lot of opportunity to see him.

It was also mentioned I'm fond of my little silver bullet. No fuel injection or anything, promise.
My man does a great job at pleasing me. I'm sure I've mentioned in another thread about biting his mattress and tearing up his back.
I do however, need "instant gratification" in the interim.

My only complaint was it wasn't so instant anymore. Nothing dire, just wondering if it was possible to have a clit break down

[IndiReloaded]

People can survive on stale bread and water too. Some people enjoy the occassional chocolate, or oatmeal with fresh berries, or a fine Mouton.

[Perryville]

A clit breakdown? Sorry, I know what to do with one, but not how to repair a malfunctioning one. How does it work when your SO is "in the saddle", so to speak. If it functions when he is there, maybe you need to do what it takes to make sure he is there much more often. I don't know your situation, but it sounds to me that you should be doing everything to make the BF a permanent fixture.

[lilly1185]

LOL Sex isn't the only reason I'm with the s/o. We spend more time talking (phone, internet, text) than physically.

Because of a financial bump, and baby situation, I'm living with my (far right, super conservative) family. I've planned my next four years here until I can get myself through school and provide a better living situation for my baby in the long haul.

Having a boyfriend wasn't really planned. At all. It just sort of happened, and we're enjoying each other's company rather than planning a full-on set future marriage together. If it works, great. If it doesn't oh well sorta thing.

After (unsuccessfully) living with a couple ex boyfriends, I've sworn off living with anyone (except current situation) until I'm married. It tends to be the downfall of many, many relationships.

[Perryville]

I guess it's just a matter of preference then. I prefer to have FWB's and ONS's than to use a toy, but I'm a guy and maybe for a woman it would be different. It does sound like you have the beginnings of something good, so in that you are fortunate. Single parenting is a difficult thing to do. So in your case a vibrator can help.