I need to get out there and date

[steven001]

I'm 22 and in college, pretty good looking, decent at making friends, but horrible at finding dates. I'm in my senior year and I've really only had 2 girls that I've had any real significant dating situations with since I've been here. I really liked the second and it was kind of complicated and it absorbed a lot of my dating interest. A lot of wasted time quite frankly. I just want to get out there and go on some dates and see what's out there. I just have a problem with being reserved. Usually whenever I do find a date it is because the girl approaches me which will only get rarer as I get older. I know girls are interested in me a lot of times but I can't get myself to man up and ask them. I just don't know what to say. I'm stuck in my head. I'm just too worried about looking silly. Does anyone who's had problems like this have any advice on how I can develop the confidence and technique to get some dates? I feel like girls want to be asked out to casual dates by guys like me. I'm at least decent looking and come off as pretty nice and normal. Worst case scenario it doesn't go anywhere and they get a free meal right? If you were a girl how would you want to be approached?

[shheadz]

I wrote this same advice in another thread.. but here goes. There are three things you can do.

1) Play a little mental trick on yourself. When you see a girl that's attractive, start thinking of her as a friend you've known forever. Just walk up to her and start talking to her like you already know her. "Hey, what's going on? What are you up to tonight?".. that kind of stuff. It'll make it easier to start a conversation, and you'll come across as being friendly.

2) Stop caring if the girl is going to like you or not. Fear of rejection can make you do all sorts of dumb things. You're afraid to approach the girl, and if you do work up the nerve to do it, you say dumb things, stumble over your words, or stop talking altogether. Either way, you don't come across as being fun, and you're dead in the water the moment she saw you walking over to her. You know why the "bad boys" get all the girls? Cause they don't give a f**k. That doesn't mean be an a-hole, but relax. Every girl you approach isn't a life or death situation.

3) Just relax and have fun. The girls probably aren't approaching anymore because you're getting older. They're not approaching because you're becoming unapproachable. You know when I've had the most luck with women? When I went out to the bar with friends, and really wasn't trying to meet any girls. I just wanted to have some fun.

[steven001]

That's good advice and I have actually found myself doing that at times and it being effective. Sometimes I forget to do it though. I think if I remember to do it it really does help a lot. Like if I look at hanging out with a girl more than being something more romantic it works out a lot better usually. I just have more fun that way and don't worry about screwing up.

[sookie6]

Also if it is not the case. Try to develop and maintain a good network of female friends.
Girls that won't date you perhaps but truly like you.
You might even find that is it nice to bond with girls with no agenda.
I can promise you that as long as you will have a female network there will always be opportunities to meet new girls (their friends, their colleagues, family members...)
The best thing about it is that a female friend will often try to help you out if you are stuck with asking someone on a date!!!